Tag Archives: #happychildren

3 Ways to Create Healthy Emotional Atmosphere for Your Child

June 15, 2020 Olya Aman Leave a comment

Family discussions, with old and young alike taking part, can be as stimulating as sparks that ignite a fire. – Spanish saying

1) Every Child Is Born With the Growing Desire to Discover the Unknown

Curiosity governs his actions and you need to satisfy it and help it to develop into a conscious longing to learn, that in later years will determine his success in life. He perceives you as a magician that knows everything and has numerous wonders.

You reach into your bag, take out the phone and put it to your ear and listen and talk back, you put it back and grab a bottle of water, put it on the table and place a cookie on it that you just pulled from the same charmed sack. Don’t be surprised when this little adventurer approaches your bag as soon as you put it down and starts his discovery process, taking everything out and examining every object. Let him satisfy his curiosity, when he is done he probably won’t disturb the contents of it anymore.

But if he continues to do so every time you leave the room or just turn around, and you can tell that now it is a mere play – not curiosity; then you can show him a sign of your disapproval.

2) Be Careful When Distinguishing Between Curiosity and Misbehaving

He is a smart little guy and will read the expression on your face: knitted eyebrows and stiff lips. If you are careful when distinguishing between curiosity and misbehaving, you will reap the fruits of your efforts soon enough. One day traveling you visit a wonderful ancient church with colorful frescos, golden candelabras, and stained glass windows. You come a bit earlier to have enough time to wander around and then to listen to the organ music. Your son will look around with his eyes wide open and a smile on his face, taking time to examine each painting.

When you quietly call him to have a seat beside you he will show ‘behavioral discipline’ and sit beside you and listen with you, maybe still occasionally looking around. You did a great job thinking ahead and coming earlier to give him time to contemplate the beauty of the place.

You may see another family with kids. They came just in time to sit down and listen to the music. The mother keeps reproaching the kids for not sitting still. The father may threaten them with what he may do when they leave the place. And the little ones try to obey and hide the burning desire to look around and see what is on that wall behind them and the one on the left, and to learn why there are multiple colors and sun comes through the windows in rainbow-like rays. These kids will get used to bottling their emotions up to save themselves from scolding.

3) Create Emotional Freedom in Your House

Your effort will determine your future success as a parent and you will be proud of your children. Discipline is important. The goal is to create true harmony between the emotional world and conscience.

If you govern in your household by the rules you never explain properly so that little soul may understand and admit them – you teach external discipline – one without understanding. Kids will obey because of fear of punishment, not because they internally comprehend the importance and meaning of these rules. And when the very person who introduced the rules is gone, the kids won’t follow them anymore – there will be no threat to force them to do so.

But if you take time to explain every disciplinary action to your child in a way so that his conscience will recognize and acknowledge it – whatever happens in the future, with you beside him or when you are gone – his conscience will remind him the good and bad, true and false, love and hate.

Conclusion

Conscience is the most sensitive scale that perfectly distinguishes between right and wrong. Be an example of a principled centered life, governed by your conscience and this way you will teach your child to balance the emotional world with the help of internal discipline. Sooner or later the time will come when only those treasures will help him to be a good person. Make sure you supply him with all he needs and you will be proud of your child for making this world a better place.

Stay tuned…

Parenting

10 Things Parents Need to Understand to Reveal Their Child’s Unique Personality

June 1, 2020 Olya Aman Leave a comment

Love begins at home, and it is not how much we do… but how much love we put in that action. – Mother Teresa

1) Family Is a Spiritual Experience for Parents and Kids

Success is determined by understanding each other’s roles and trust between the two. Father is wisdom in the face of difficulty. Mother is compassion and love. The combination will form the child’s personality and develop her character.

2) Help to Reveal the Unique Personality

A child is born with her personality written in her life-book. Our goal as parents is to help to open this book and teach our child to read it. We should not in any way try to change its contents. The main secret of this book is that we cannot read it right away. We also need to learn how to do it by gently helping our kids through this process. We see just blank pages at the beginning and only later start noticing some signs and strive to learn this language and understand it fully. We carry unlimited power in our hands and used unwisely it can ruin this book by rewriting it. This happens if you are lazy about learning: “Why learn a new language when I can just write what I think is right? Isn’t that much easier?”

3) Our Kids Do Not Belong to Us

When born, they already have everything of their own. You can trace the strong spirit early on as well as discover gentle softness right away. By trying to be a writer, not a reader, you may ruin the exquisiteness of this book. Eventually, you will lose interest in reading it. Instead, we just need to guide our kids gently on their way by sincerely being willing to know them and admitting the existence of their perfect nature.

4) Acceptance and Respect Are the Fulcrums

Take your child’s hand and start this thought-provoking journey without trying to force or judge. Do not compare – but respect. Harmony in a child’s inner place (the place where she keeps her most sacred soul belongings) is vital. This precious personality that grows in love comes to understand the internal peace within herself. The child in this atmosphere will obtain a firm belief in her importance and will be ready to defend her personality in any circumstances (playground, school, work) not being afraid of ridicule.

5) When the Time Comes, a Child Reveals Her Dreams to an Adult

In most cases this all-knowing, wise individual bitten by the world wants “to protect” the little girl and put her back on the ground first before the cruel world does that less gently: “Wait, my friend, reality will show its sharp teeth to you. You better think about how to finish school and find a good-paying job.”

What are we without dreams? Mere automatons. Dreams make us move, create masterpieces, and make new scientific discoveries that save millions of lives. Dream driven actions make a king from a peasant, and a king without dreams becomes a vagabond. By supporting our kids when they strive for happiness and greatness, we make them believe in the imaginary reality and help them to make it real.

6) Pay Attention to Character Development

Often we do not pay as much attention to our children’s character as we do to teaching them to hold a spoon and eat, to brush their teeth and make their bed by themselves (to free more time for ourselves). Patience is the highest rung on the “child-care ladder”. With this capacity in our hands, we can help our kids to attain up their “dream realized life”.

7) Do Not Force Your Little One to Imitate Anyone

Do not compare him to other children. In striving to imitate, the child becomes like a crow in an old parable. He vainly tries master flying in the skies in an attempt to become a sparrow. As he strives, the little crow forgets how to walk on his own.

8) His Power to Be Himself Should Be Respected

Look at the child in his first year of life. This is his fairy tale, where there is no need to pretend that you like something when you don’t. He is the king of this land, comfortable in the presence of loving, devoted parents and fierce if he doesn’t like someone, even if this someone is the monarch of the neighboring state. This king is brave in everything he does, not afraid of doing something wrong.

His power to be himself should be respected because it brings him peace. Parents as his chaperones on his way through his kingdom should show support and unconditional love: “We love you as you are. You will never make us love you less.” In this land they have discussions and arguments, they have different opinions, listen to each other with respect, learning from their differing points of view, and solving problems together.

9) Answer With Patience and Honesty

When your child asks “what” you should answer with patience and honesty, explaining the “why”. Wise parents know that the explanation should not be misleading as it is hard to correct this mistake and keep the same level of trust afterward.

We should remember to not pressure our kids by instilling in them the behavior that we think is appropriate. The primary emphasis is on playing and making it joyful. Even such a thing as brushing teeth can be fun. And if the question “why should I do it?” is asked, patience and creativity help to make the answer reasonable in a childish way but with a truly grown-up meaning.

10) Your Child Is Entrusted to You

Do not consider your child a source of pleasure for yourself: giving love when you feel like it, and if your mood is blue – considering the child as a mere hindrance on the way to a quiet sleep on the couch.