Tag Archives: #parentingacts

4 Major Pitfalls to Avoid When Raising a Child

June 17, 2020 Olya Aman Leave a comment

Family teaching is by example only. – Chinese saying

1) When You See Some Signs of Undesirable Behavior

To reward this world with a person who will be driven to bring glory to his community, country, nature and the whole world is a great mission. And the process requires a lot of self-assessment and consideration. Sometimes when you see some signs of undesirable behavior: lying, open aggressiveness, or quiet anger – you need to step back and analyze what could have caused it.

If you try to raise a child who is always obedient and pride yourself on your ability to discipline your little one, you may expect sooner or later rebellion in a disagreeable form: he may take drugs, bully others in school or in the streets – giving way to his emotions and perceiving personal pleasure in life as his only valuable accomplishment.

2) When Striving to Instill an Individualistic Point of View

Another pitfall is to strive to instill an individualistic point of view in your child. You may think that by praising without measure and often without reason you will create a winning spirit. You bestow love and create an impression of ‘the world is mine and all is made for me and for my good’.

This child later in life will put herself on a pedestal and make no excuses when it comes to her personal success. She won’t care about the rest of the world and suffering around her. If she feels it more convenient for her she’ll put her elderly parents in a nursing home instead of sacrificing her time and maybe her career to take care of them.

3) When Suffering in Any Form Does Not Initiate Compassion

Make every effort to raise a child that sees his success in harmony with the world around him, who don’t think a moment choosing between the need to take care of a cat suffering as the result of a fight and being late for a meeting. It may not sound like such a good example, but if suffering in any form (experienced by a person, animal, or any creation) initiates compassion – this is the outcome you’ve been looking for.

This child considers himself a member of the society. He can empathize and see the world around him through the glass of his emotions. He lives in harmony with nature and humankind. He won’t break a tree branch just for fun. He’ll never even think to graffiti his name or any other writing on the wall of a store. He’ll never attempt to throw a stone into a shop window just to hear the alarm and then speed away. He will cherish and respect the result of other people’s effort and the result of the effort of The One, Who created this world… So he won’t pollute his body with nicotine, alcohol, or drugs, not just for his own good but for the good and well-being of others around him and the ones he loves the most.

4) When You Consider a Child Your Property

We are all born with our characters defined and a skilled and observant parent can trace some unique features right away. A baby may be quiet and cry only when hungry or he can call for your attention every other minute. Children are all different from the time of their birth. If you consider your little one, coming to this world and changing your life as a welcomed and ‘respected guest’ – you will give him due attention and care, listen to his needs and come to his aide whenever it is required, answer his calls for love each and every time without restrictions – that will be enough to make him a happy addition to your family.

Conclusion

Open your heart and create a safe environment where the innocence of your baby won’t be taken advantage of. Govern your actions with respect to his emotional world and always try to put yourself in his tiny shoes to try and see the world through those innocent eyes full of love and devotion.

Stay tuned…

Parenting

5 Parenting Tips That Will Secure Present and Future Happiness of Your Child

June 7, 2020 Olya Aman Leave a comment

Blessed is the home where each puts the other’s happiness first. – Anonymous

1) The Spiritual Bond Between the Baby and His Mother

The mother’s body is like a tranquil old-fashioned clock that soothingly counts out heartbeats. For nine months a baby lives in this dark peace. The mother should try her best to stay calm and avoid any distractions that may disturb her peace. The spiritual bond between the baby and his mother is so strong that it continues after the birth of the baby for 4 more years. This little body feels safe in his mother’s presence and scared of the world full of unfamiliar sounds when she is not around.

2) The Gentle and Deliberate Motion of a Child’s Life

The pace with which the clock ticks governs the gentle and deliberate motion of a child’s life. He eats slowly, tasting the food; takes time to dress and tie his shoes – don’t hasten this learning process. Life shouldn’t be about speed, unfortunately, we tend to exhibit little patience as we are always in a hurry. That causes stress. We need to slow down and at the very least let our kids live life the way their internal clock tells them to. The natural flow of life, unhurried and consistent should be respected.

3) Let Your Child Experience Life in Small but Meaningful Ways

Let him get cold so he knows why he needs to put on several layers of clothes, let him get hungry so he wants and asks for food. By chasing your child with a spoon in one hand and an extra pair of socks in another you won’t show him the reasons behind your actions. Let him understand things around him.

4) The Desire to Learn as It Is a Distinctive Feature of Human Beings

A child is naturally curious and it is important not to damage this desire to learn as it is a distinctive feature of human beings. When forced to learn something, children behave like adults. When you are told to submit a paper on a topic you are quite interested in under a threat of some kind, will you enjoy the process or will you experience stress and resentment? Children feel the same and by constantly forcing them by whip and candy, their curiosity may vanish. Then we witness a child with a learning disability. And the reason is simply a disturbance in the natural flow of things. They wonder “why” – encourage them to explore further under your supervision.

5) In a Child’s World, Everything Is Real

A friend can be a giant lion, which lets him ride on its back, or a small kitten, that he holds in his tiny hands and feeds with imaginary water. Their imaginations are vivid and realistic, senses are sharp, and beliefs shaped and shaken by parents. Be careful what you tell your children and what you want them to accept as truth. They feel any false note, but they trust you fully so they think “it is the way it should be since mom deceives me in this way, it is “OK” for me to do the same”. You tell your little girl that the sweet piece of cake you eat and that looks so inviting is a harsh remedy that the doctor prescribed, and it is not tasty at all, on the contrary – it is very sour and bitter. You try to protect your little princess from the allergic reaction she has on her lovely skin each time she eats too much sugary stuff, so you invent this “white lie”. Next time you playfully ask her to share a little piece of an apple that you’ve just given her, she tells you that it is not good for you and you may cough if you eat it. Oh! How skillfully they mirror everything we do, consciously and unconsciously.

Conclusion

What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family. – Mother Teresa

And when you make your love conditional by saying: “Eat this porridge. You’ll make mommy love you even more.” Or “Behave, little man, don’t upset your father, he doesn’t love the kids that act this way.” And unnoticeably that little heart is wounded with the realization that mommy will love him “only” and “if” he will be just like that boy who lives next door. The consequences of this conditional love are harsh. Someday your little darling won’t be so dependent on you and feeling the taste of freedom he will lose the connection with you, who loved “only” and “if” in search of real love, but not believing in its existence. And this lack of trust in the purity of compassion will follow him wherever he goes. Don’t make this happen. Don’t ruin the trust and loving power of the heart you were entrusted to bring into this world.

Stay tuned…