Find charming weapons in your posture, gestures, and mimic

You must possess a great deal of inner strength to fight for your true essence. – Olya Aman

Experienced the poison of my own personality reflected and redirected at me when I was eight.

We were sitting on a balcony on the 6th floor of a nine-story quiet building and shelling peas when the boy, my distant cousin, the exact relation of whom I am not able to disclose, promised to marry me once we grew up. He was 6 years old, I think, and for me, that was the main obstacle to matrimony. I couldn’t bear my husband being a whole 2 years younger than me.

The boy was petite and skinny, dressed according to the latest style with a modern haircut. His eyes were flickering like quiet water at the bottom of the well. I don’t remember his name, only the electrified tenderness from the combination of sounds that caressed the roof of my mouth.

I used to be a shy girl and I couldn’t imagine anybody might take a liking to me. This first occasion indulged my vanity and coupled with that raised right eyebrow and light tilt of the head to the left made magic. He unconsciously copied all my gestures, like the one of bringing the tips of my fingers together in a thoughtful manner.

That skill of sweet murderous attraction (and my distant cousin undoubtedly possessed it) sometimes takes ages to master. By listening with all six senses, adding full awareness to this mutual process of comprehension, and giving yourself in full to the moment of wisdom, you may be highly rewarded by obtaining a grateful and affectionate friend.

Unfortunately, the relation, if any, was very distant and I haven’t seen my first admirer for many years. Our encounter lasted about 4 hours and was limited by that romantic adventure with peas.

However, the ability to see, or rather to sense with your entire body the inner rhythm of any living being could be a curse rather than a blessing. One day about six years ago when I visited M. I met a good-looking man at my sister’s place. What struck me was the familiar flickering in his eyes. “I’ve already seen that watery gray color somewhere”, I thought.

His wife was a big woman with unusually dainty ankles. She had a style about her, and I could almost call her dazzling but for her loud voice, just a touch above average, with an expression of power and force in it.

Magnetism seemed to radiate from her, and it outshone her husband completely. They both made a curious movement of their shoulders when being introduced to me. At the dinner table she talked a lot and each time her husband wanted to add something, she interrupted him deprecatingly. It looked like she didn’t care even two straws about him when he was completely determined to obey her in every way.

This man was lost in his wife’s charisma, modeling her movements and intonations in vain hope to be heard by the object of his admiration. It can be easier for a person like that to vanish in search of identity and never discover the true self within.

This encounter made me think

1) Enigmatic individuality.

A child, when born, is a little unique flourish. Growing up, he still seats apart from the rest of humankind in the secret tower of his individuality. Looking down at the world and people around, he longs to be accepted and gradually loses the sharpness of his personality.

2) Ability to listen and ask questions.

Every movement is marked by your personal touch when you are relaxed and free from any outside influence. It is, though, hard to always feel comfortable when people are around. You stay conscious of the opinion of others, trying to read their minds and predict reactions to your next words and actions.

How can you keep your composed self and, at the same time, be conscious of the presence around? Indeed, with more self-confidence and less opinion-dependence, you will be completely fulfilled as a personality.

3) The art of attracting attention.

Your vitality and easy confidence of manner flourish when you add to your skill-set and ability to attract people. This is a learned art, and everyone can master it with enough desire and persistence. Sincere appreciation and willingness to understand always help to establish contact with anyone.

People are like parallel straight lines, and they meet only when willing to incline to each other. Some people are more parallel than most, which can be a challenge. You either need to savor this or seek a way to make them curve in your direction.

4) Dominance with body language.

Your body language grants you with an attitude of indolent grace if you listen with it. We should never take the process of communication for granted. It is a talent almost all species have, and we are gifted beyond anyone.

Invest your time in every conversation fully. Listen with your eyes, ears, and posture, and your presence will become irradiation of any gathering.

5) Mastering personality can teach you the skill.

It is a stroke of great luck to meet a virtuoso in any field. Such people go through life in a never-ending state of self-improvement. It is axiomatic that such people are great resources for valuable information. Feeble envy, in this case, is a motivation to record useful knowledge and implement it to your advantage.

Surround yourself with strong, intelligent people. They represent all the vast conscious world of the best in men. Strive to be on the same level.

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Final thoughts

Some people possess that engaging gracefulness that makes them forever moving around other people. They seem to be fed by attention and admiration. And if the energy from others is not present in their life, they fade away. That happened with my distant cousin. He was desperately in love and lost himself in this feeling. I’m sure he engaged all his inner resources to win this beautiful and vigorous woman. When done and married, he disappeared, became her shadow.

Don’t make this mistake. The atmosphere of your unique inner strength should be your main source of energy. That state is obtained only if you are in love with yourself. This way if you are forced to stay for some time in your own universe with only you for a company, this experience becomes enriching.

Life can be cruel in its passionate desire to come true, where one theaters an exciting play, changing himself on the go to satisfy the need to be like others. While the other lives in the earnest struggle to protect his individuality. It is easier to continue one’s way by adopting a false personality — effort takes time and energy.

You must possess a great deal of inner strength to fight for your true essence, and most often the reality around you is a rival, not an ally.

Stay tuned…