Why, or rather when the opinion of others matters
Spend precious moments stubbornly biting your lips, speaking sternly, and acting openly… – Olya Aman
Dima was my first boyfriend. A terrible bore as he was, I loved him dearly. I always thought him to be above the average in the firmness of his mind. He read classic literature and spoke the language of 19th century romance. We were young and very much in love.
Dima was a sensible and handsome young boy of twenty at the time. I was a smart, pretty girl of eighteen with merry grey eyes and lofty, intelligent forehead. Today when I see a photo of us together, I remember how contagiously happy we were.
One incident ruined our happiness. Dima thought himself deceived, duped, and hopeless. A slough scandal was spread through the entire village and finally found its way to Dima’s ears. The tempest of doubt and dread, of jealousy and rage, almost blinded him. Some shallow minds believed it right away. People that wished us bad luck were rejoicing.
I got to the root of it only by hints and innuendos, as no one dared to speak openly with me about it. I stopped any intercourse with the poisoned humanity, the ones that readily accepted the circulating vile slander.
Why it is normal to rip up the ties.
Dima’s spirits rose almost to madness when he heard the dreadful story of me being unfaithful to our love. I thought nothing could crush his faith in our shared future. The story was a lame one. Unfortunately, he believed that I could swear love to someone else.
The first night after discovering that his best friend was an instigator of the slander, a paroxysm of anger disquieted Dima’s breathing, and he bitterly reproached himself for the moment of weakness. His friend, a worthless reprobate, an impracticable fool, gave food to envenomed tongues, and they started to talk about me as if I was a little frivolous kitten going around and gifting my love to insipid individuals.
Eventually, Dima cut all ties with that false friendship. Forgot the way to his friend’s house. Wiped him off his phone contacts and social media accounts. He brushed the dirt of this acquaintance from his life. After what happened, Dima knew too well to keep such people at a great distance from his life.
Why, or rather when the opinion of others matters.
My heart rejoiced when my parents and my elder sister took my side in this insinuated story. I felt strong support and stoic faith from them. My close friends showed me the true value of their relationship. People that sincerely wished me to be happy took pains to consider everything thoroughly. They recollected what they knew about me and found not even one reason to surrender to the falsehood circulating in the village.
Why take the reins in your hands.
This occurrence served as a great lesson for both of us. Dima’s so-called friend, being a jealous and wicked person, ruined our happiness. He did his utmost to bring about a fatal collapse to the true love between two faithful hearts. That unfortunate affair taught me to avoid provokingly jealous, heartless, and artificial people. I clean my life from any false attachment.
Today I make my life a pleasant experience, awakened by grand people. The mention of any piece of news that concerns me is heart-felt when coming from a loving soul and easily forgotten when coming from a distant and unimportant acquaintance.
Conclusion
People tend to talk. We may like it or not — but they talk about us. It may aggravate you, but I would encourage you to take no notice of judgments that come from people that do not bring value to your life. Whatever they think should be considered a slight thing. It by no means should disturb the equanimity of your mind or had any injurious effect upon your appetite.
A true friend will cry and laugh with you, not at you. The one that gives you handsome compliments in your face and talks about you with much malicious philosophy behind your back is not a friend. Rejoice when you find out about some false attachment. Let this person go as far from your life as possible and wish him good-speed. Remember that the ones that stay — worth hundreds of those that had left. This is a natural life improving, beautifying process. You multiply positivity but getting rid of negativity.
By the way, it is better to be talked about. That means people find your life interesting and for sure a better topic to discuss than whatever their own existence presents. So, let them do what they please and continue to live as YOU please.
Stay tuned…
Olya Aman 
what a wonderful and thought provoking post thank you for posting it this is a truly helpful article when it comes to fears and awareness
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This is cool! And completely agree about letting life be filled with great people.
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Great post on how to turn things around, thank you for sharing!
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This was a good read. I’m happy to see you point out WHEN someone’s opinion matters. We shouldn’t hold others opinions as higher than our own
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Great advise. It’s important to consider who the comments are coming from. We need to think differently about a comment depending If it comes from a loving soul or when it comes form a distant relationship.
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Love this post! It’s right up my alley!
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I am loving this insightful post. Lots of great tips for handing relationships and we can all use that sometimes 🙂
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I try to just stay away from gossipers and rumor starters…. I figured that out as a kid and have heeded it ever since. Helps me to keep toxic”ness” out of my life as there i o time for it. I always enjoy your articles and I always feel calm when visiting your site so thank you 🙂
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yep i agree with you 100%%% People talk and their opinions don’t matter. The only time they do matter is when they add value.
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We just need to focus on what we do and stop thinking of how others see us. How other perceive us and think of us has got nothing to do with us and not that something we can control.
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I think that I’ve learned so much as I’ve gotten older and one thing is that you will find out who your true friends are by how they talk about you when you’re not there.
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This is so hard but the real truth. Friends and backstabbing happens and you just gotta trust your guts!
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I think this is lesson that is learned with age. You tend to care less and less about what others are saying and thinking the more you become comfortable with yourself. And that really only comes with age.
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I think it’s important that we learn how to handle rumors. I love that conclusion, I couldn’t have said it better myself. Can’t tell you how much I appreciate this post and I hope more people get the chance to read this.
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Ahh I can’t believe stuff like this still goes on among adults but I guess we shouldn’t be surprised! I think it’s most important to be comfortable with yourself and not be afraid to cut ties like you said.
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It’s all just background noise. Sometimes adults can be more cruel than kids…it’s important to know your self-worth so you can move on and thrive.
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Such a great post. Lots to think about!
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I have spent most of my life being tormented by other people’s thoughts, talk and gossips but the secret is to ignore and move on.
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You can only lead happy life if you master emotional intelligence it’s hard o master but very important for one’s emotional and mental well being.
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Gossip has always made my life complex, talking to me so much behind the schools it took me some time to stop seeing or imagining the whole world plotting against me. But doing it means coming back to life. The only words we need to hear are those that start with us, those that make us better and stronger every day.
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This is such a great read! I was just talking to a friend about this the other day. There are always people who will talk behind your back, but we each have control of how we let it impact us.
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Thank you so much for sharing this it this is a truly helpful article when it comes to fears and awareness
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It can be hard to separate the words from real friends and fake friends at times. But it’s so important to learn the difference. I have made some amazing friends this past year and lean on them when needed. It’s great to have those you know you can trust, for the good and bad!
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Boy oh boy do I wish I could do this more often. Too many times I let the opinions of nonimportant people ruin my day. I do have to do better and learn to quickly not to pay attention to them because they certainly are only out to hurt me, not help me.
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Backbiting and rumors are the worst. The people who know us best actually realize the rumors aren’t true.
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I love this so much! Staying clear of toxic people is so important to our me tsk health, and this spells out a pretty solid roadmap for doing just that.
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