“Unlike her mother, she loved herself just the way she was”
I met Natasha when I was in hospital as a child, on some trifling issue with my collarbone. We got together somehow. The simplicity and cheerfulness of her nature was the best recommendation for me. Natasha was always disposed to chatter, and I loved to listen to her stories. So, when she invited me to snatch a meal at her parents’ house on one of the weekends, I agreed with delight.
A Mother’s Heart
I was aware that Natasha felt somewhat uneasy to introduce me to her mom. But Natasha sensed a kind and open heart in me and wanted my smiling face to cheer her family.
I did my best to not show my astonishment at seeing her mother. But I bet it was all written on my over expressive face. I never before or since saw a woman so big. I was just a shy child and on my asking if there was anything I could do to help her with setting up the table or getting the tea ready, she became suddenly annoyed and left the room without saying a word.
I felt her unease and pain as my own. I didn’t think a moment but acted on impulse. Rushing right after her, I hugged her and cried bitterly in her soft bosom.
Natasha’s mother was a beautiful woman, shy and gentle, kind and sincere in everything she did. She, just like me, was oversensitive. She had a way of noticing even a slight change in people’s attitude towards herself, and she took it too close to her heart.
That was a magic night. I do not remember laughing so much ever since.
Second Encounter
I left the hospital in a week and we lost each other, being a few years apart and busy with our lives.
In my last year at university, just before moving overseas, I rented an apartment with my friend. The kids next door were noisy little devils. On one occasion they were fighting in the little corridor we shared and ruined our shoe shelf. Their mom came out of the door just at the time when I was vainly trying to rescue my boots out of the younger boy’s hands.
I was so much taken up by the drama in front of me that I didn’t right away realize that a lady next door was dragging me out of the fighting boys’ way and into her apartment. I found myself in the kitchen, sitting at the table with the lucky boot in one hand and a cup of fragrant tea in the other.
I was well rewarded for my pains with love and hospitality bestowed on me by my old friend Natasha.
“Forget about the little rascals, Oly,” Natasha was the only person calling me so. “They will get their share of motherly affection when I’m done with you.”
We hugged and kissed, we laughed and chatted till midnight, Natasha’s husband dealing with the kids.
We were throwing tea parties almost every night since then.
Her husband adored her, children obeyed her ALMOST every time, and unlike her mother, she loved herself just the way she was.
Natasha needed to go out more often, though. I knew that, she knew that, and her husband secretly asked me to encourage her.
Her mother died at 43. Too many health complications caused by extra weight. So, Natasha needed to change her life to be there for her family.
I asked her a few times to run some errands for me, excusing myself by the business of my working and studying schedule. Then I offered evening walks instead of evening tea rounds. Half hour strolls gave way to an hour one, temp getting faster, music accompanying conversations.
Natasha loved music. Her tuneless yet sweet humming was pleasing to the ear. I found out there was a dancing studio nearby. The time worked for both of us and I urged her to try. She became friendly with the elderly woman instructor. Gradually that kind and sincere lady took the place of a coach in Natasha’s life.
I got into a habit of sending Natasha a motivational postcard each month with little writings coming from my heart. She sent me photos of her-improving-self in gorgeous dresses she crafted for her dance performances.
Natasha turned 44 last year. She always had a fear in her kind heart to have a similar fate as her mom had. Natasha stopped thinking this way the day she felt a deserved pride from being herself.
Although her health improved significantly with some weight loss, the bigger change was in her attitude toward herself.
To the outside observer, Natasha’s body didn’t change very much. Maybe some curves got more prominent and sensual, that was all.
She WAS and IS bathing in love coming from her husband and kids.
In her eyes, there is a real, rattling satisfaction. She goes about singing and dancing, knowing how to showcase her inner and outer beauty. A growing admiration from the men and women of her dancing studio and applause from the smiling audience proved to her the thing she always knew but seldom voiced proudly.
Those magic words were:
“I am beautiful!”
Olya Aman 
There is always that balance one has to strike between being body positive and not allowing yourself to slide into unhealthy habits. They key is to be happy AND healthy, the rest is the stuff of magazines and Photoshop.
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This is awesome!!! I love working out daily and it actually helps me a lot.
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I definitely need to exercise more. It does help to find an activity I enjoy – like dancing or yard work.
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I really enjoyed this post and how you interwove your tips with your experiences.
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This was really motivational. I need to get back into taking care of my self more.
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Thank you so much for the motivation and beginners guidance.
It is not that hard to continue with the workout, but making the first day, is the hard thing.
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I think people are always too scared to let others help them because they don’t want to bother them, but most of the time family and friends are more than willing to help and it is very beneficial for you! (reciprocated by Natasha Romero-Salas)
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Nice post and I agree with all of these but sometimes I personally have a hard time asking the help of others because of the reason that I don’t want them to think that I am weak. But thank you to you for allowing me to realize that sometimes we need help from others because they are things that we can’t really do alone.
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I have a hard time remember to love myself today, or even remembering the importance of the present, but slowly and surely I’m getting better at it!
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I agree to all your points, I love how you described N.. So detailed..😘 We all need somebody’s help at one point in our life. Anyone would be lucky to have a supportive and thoughtful one.
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I personally don’t like to bother anyone, but then when someone needs me I always willing and available. I don’t always get the reciprocation though.
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This is very inspirational and motivational post. Trust me I never feel shy for taking help of others.
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It is a good practise to love yourself. It is very important to start small. Thanks for sharing the post 🙂
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Considering the laziness of the last period, I appreciate very much your tips!
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I definitely need to get back in the routine of working out! This is all so true and there are some great tips here!
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I like that you’ve mentioned finding that you like. It’s important that someone finds what works for them, not follow what works for others.
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Great tips! I liked the idea of taking small steps. It is easier to take a little step everyday than to attempt a big step once in a while. Loving ourselves is so important.
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Rewarding yourself is key. Every step is a move towards your goals.
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In any goal in the family, if you have the support of each member, it’s easier to achieve any kind of undertaking.
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These are all things that I personally struggle with, which is why I have a problem committing to exercise on a regular basis.
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What I want to mention is you really need to stay fit and healthy. You must never neglect it. I somewhat feel sorry for people who ignore this fact.
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I think it’s a great idea to get family and friends involved. They are your biggest supporters and will get you through the initial stages.
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This post is truly motivational. I do exercise, however, I am only allowed low impact exercises so that limits me to walking and swimming. My youngest son makes sure I do my walking exercises and he tags along as I go along my usual route every afternoon. Having someone to talk to while walking makes it less boring!
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This is so inspirational! I try to find things I do like. I recently discover my love of yoga and I do yoga at anywhere. Although my coworkers laugh at me when I do a pose (because I do some during break), I don’t care.
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Just goes to show how important self love is. It’s always nice to have people who motivate and inspire you to take care of yourself. I think it’s wonderful. It can be a challenge to start exercising but once you find what works for you, it’s definitely going to be fun.
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You are an incredible friend. People who love you enough to encourage you to love yourself are special people.
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Self love is so important bu having friends like you that motivate you is priceless.
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Exercise and me are never on good terms. Sometimes I push myself too hard, while the rest of the days I’m too lazy to even warm up!
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Wonderful post and very eye opening. I used to exercise purely to lose weight. I became obsessed with the numbers and found it hard to understand that muscles = heavier than fat. So I went from weight training to cardio in a bid to lose the muscle (and tone) I had worked hard on.
Now I stick to yoga for positive vibes, toning &, most importantly, enjoyment.
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When I was losing weight I put all the money I saved by buying snacks etc and walking rather than driving and treated my mum and me to a city break when I hit my goal weight. Some great tips
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Thank you for sharing these tips! Self love is incredible important.
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little steps results into bigger rewards at the end of the day! And this would be the number one on my list!
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This is such an amazing way to motivate someone into getting started. I think that the hardest part of exercising is literally getting started. Number 3 is my favorite. Motivation comes through different sources, we just need to find what motivates us and stick to it.
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I love this, and I agree. It is important to love yourself!
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I don’t like my body at all right now. I love these ideas. I need to get started.
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It sounds like you have been a great friend to N. That was great that you suggested going for evening walks with her!
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I personally need to get in a routine with my job I spend lots of time on the net!
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