She was poised for flight! But, my word! I still had a small, tiniest chance to save her.

Gven endured long and severe emotional hardships. The marks of suffering were imprinted on her whole being. Extremely lean, she seemed all bones and nerves, as if the lack of desire to live was draining her inner and outer body reserves.

Standing on the edge of a cliff, Gven went on and on conversing with herself, gesticulating furiously, as if a sudden fit of insanity had come over her.

I heard her repeating, struggling with herself:

“No more pain. I’m coming to you, my baby, my son, the love of my life, my everything… I miss you so much, I cannot breathe. This grief chokes me. No more pain. I’m coming to you…”

Gven didn’t breathe a word of her life-threatening thoughts to me. To prevent her from taking a fatal step forward to the abyss, I needed to collect the best words possible.

Beads of perspiration shone upon my face.

I spoke in little, sharp, jerky outbreaks:

“I pity you from the deepest of my heart. I know only angels in heaven can feel your pain. You want so badly to touch his little hand, to press your face into his tiny sweaty neck, to cry into his hair and breathe him in. You will give everything for one living touch, for one cheerful smile, to hear his laughter just one more time.”

I devoted my whole being to this moment of soul-felt expression and was looking for every hint of hope in Gven’s eyes.

“Your son is in heaven, holding hands with angels, playing games with them. Seeing God in His perfection. He was too small to sin. He was taken from you being so pure, like a diamond, like a drop of holy water.”

The night was stormy and the noise of the warring elements was so great that I feared my words were scarcely audible.

“Do you think that by killing yourself you will meet him in heaven? But No! When you go today, you will never ever see him again. You will gather about you all the shadow of the world.”

The weather was gradually calming down. I felt that my tirade, poured forth in the most impetuous manner, made Gven bend a listening ear to the faintest sound of my voice.

“Your life is a gift from God and you need to cherish it. If you want to see your son again, you need to LIVE. LIVE like never before. With pain as your daily companion, and a reminder that you need to do every good deed possible to deserve to join your son in heaven when YOUR time comes. It will not be easy. It is not meant to be so.”

Gven’s nervous organization, so highly excited, was finally submitting to containment.

“There will still be sun in your life, you wait and see. You just wait. For his sake… You just live.”

Time does heal. Sometimes it takes really long, but eventually, a rattling good moment of ease wins the mastery.