Tag Archives: #positivevibes

Mental Health

Great Power of Strong Feelings That Will Uplift or Dispirit You

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Telling lies is a wicked habit. Once mastering this vice, you stop to be sincere even to yourself – Olya Aman

Love 

D. used to be a cheerful boy who was rushing into childish sorrow and joy, both with the same zeal. He got strongly carried away and stoically endured failures. He got sick with many childhood illnesses in succession: broke his arm in a skating rink, fell through the frail April ice one time, and once almost died from anaphylactic shock. No one was truly worried about him or tried to protect him because the safety margin he possessed was truly inhumane. It was very likely the result of love everybody bestowed on him which was accumulated over his childhood.

Even a faint glimmering of love changes the way a person feels. The coming day seems brighter, any gloom is relieved with the warmth of sincere affection. With love in your heart you can bravely elbow your way through the thickest of the life troubles. On looking intently forward, the future seems hopeful with this rejuvenating feeling inside.

Companionship 

Kids can be cruel in their antipathy as much as they can be passionate about friendship. D. didn’t know the taste of opposition, as we all do now and then. He seemed to be an exception – a pet to every girl, a confidante to every boy, and a favorite to every adult. Plump and rosy-cheeked as a baby, he was skinny and pale when a toddler and a teen. Always cheerful but never laughing out loud, he appeared to always know how to behave and what to say to a party of elderly people or a group of children of any age.

Friendly social circle puts heart in us. As if eating the healthiest and most nourishing food, compassionate touch and heartfelt conversation with the person that cares about you, empower you physically and emotionally. The equanimity of your mind is preserved with the help of friendly people. In the nature of all things, friends are more costly than any possible luxuries in life.

Appreciation

D’s family lived in a three-story apartment building across the road from me. His balcony located on the first floor faced the front gate of our house and I used to observe him through our sun room’s picture window watering the flowers or playing with his cat. We used to exchange our own silent language and meet on a neutral territory just outside the entrance to his stairwell. Gathering the rest of our kids’ company we played picture cards or staged some play or other for grownups from the area. We drafted specific invitations as our performances were popular and we liked the idea of choosing the audience. 

D. was a source of endless ideas for costumes or the dialogue’s comical language. His sense of humor was superb, and laughter accompanied every act. I thought he would make a lead actor or a director in the theater world or even the cinema. His ability to change the timbre and depth of his voice, coming now from the upper part of vocal cords and then from his chest, fascinated me. D. used to easily memorize all parts and could improvise, always saving the scene when someone forgot their lines by mumbling the words of an unfortunate fellow in a funny sort of way, slightly opening a corner of his mouth and making the rest of his facial features unusually steady.

The wealth of recognition opens up our inner resources. If your vanity is duly gratified, a multitude of opportunities strives to be revealed to your judgment. Burning ambition is flourishing in the environment of appreciation, and it drives a person to move forward with his dreams.

Self-Belief 

We all used to think his never-ending source of energy and ideas would be like an immortal all- present sun, that only in cloudy weather could not be seen, but everybody knew still existed in our sky. When he got sick, no one paid attention to this fact and considered any misfortune in his path as a slightly darkened forecast for the day: we might not see him today, but tomorrow the sun will rise again as it always did before. And true to this expectation, he woke up the next morning and went out to the balcony with his hand bandaged or his head wrapped. We loved him at those moments more than anyone. It seemed the memory of yesterday without his joyful spirit was sunless. 

With voluntary self-assurance no hardship will hang about you for a long time. In this state you know that troubles cannot last forever and by degrees, life will get better. The belief in this axiom attracts positive vibes and favorable circumstances follow along. Self-confidence encourages prosperity.

Fear

But one thing finally broke that love-shielding wall that I’m sure protected him, and that jolly spirit perished with it. On one occasion coming home from school D. was stopped by a gypsy woman and driven by curiosity he let her take his hand. She predicted his death from a fall. Yes. So silly: no particulars of any sort, just a silly woman saying a silly thing out of spite just to scare a boy out of his wits. But his passionate nature disserved him this time and he was carried away by that nonsense. The look in his eyes changed gradually: happy sprinkles of yellow on a watery green iris gave way to gloomy brown ripples almost swallowing the rest of the palette of his eye. His countenance, full of lifeblood, had undergone the transformation into a shadow-like version of himself. His paleness was not noble anymore. Rather it was unwell, and his tiny frame gave the impression of some disposition or other.

Self-Doubt

From that time every disease he suffered from drained the life out of him drop by drop. There was a sickening flavor about him that made one think of misfortunes, bad luck, and weakness. That unfortunate prophecy stole the charisma that D. undoubtedly possessed and the admiration we all felt towards him yielded to the force of death that obsessed his mind and changed his looks drastically to the worse.

He constantly repeated that crazy woman’s words, which resulted in an alien personality he started to wear, thinking somebody else’s thoughts about his life in constant fear of a fall. He came to be one of those unfortunate people that always look back on others with dread, nervously trying to read everybody’s thoughts, expecting them to pity him and disliking them for that. He desperately needed someone else’s sympathy, approval, and love. He had all of it in abundance when he was able to give his cheerful smile in return. When a gloomy mood possessed him, any positive feedback from outside was forever lost.

The injurious effect of self-doubt is enormous. It aggravates everything about life. You simply give vent to misfortunes when you allow yourself to lack confidence. Everything takes a longer walk, you simply have no power to alleviate the sinking of your soul and spirit.

Stress

At the age of 14 D. withered as a flower pulled from its soil. It was a minor cold that killed him afterward. Many think though, that he was dead long before that illness took his final breath. Dread of everything that life is – trials and failures, meetings and partings, praise and hearsay – was a murderous weapon that made the final shot. The memory of his awe-inspiring cheerful nature that reserved everybody’s favorable attitude towards him was a red cloth that made him furious when he saw the change in people that truly was only his own nervy and stressful alteration, reflection of which he saw in others.

In a state of stress you are creeping away in life, with cautious steps making your slow advancement. Cold and cheerless days without sunlight and fragrance are your destiny if you let emotional strain oppress you. You need to be careful with things that distress you. Many things are omitted and a lot is forgotten when your mind is pressured with negative thoughts.

Conclusion

D. used to be a champion in any undertaking and even a failure served as a source of energy, adding more experience and a higher chance of being victorious next time. 

When he came to be a poor victim of a senseless lie people stopped taking him seriously but that was just the result of his lack of confidence in himself. The world with death being an integral part of it was a poisonous place for him. That prophecy doomed him to live a life of fear. That dread became his daily companion and, being a jealous nasty thing, deprived him of friends. 

When you do not fear anybody, you can handle any judgment people make about you, taking no interest in what kind of esteem they hold you in. The brave spirit of an adventurer reigns in your life and you take risks and come out winning most of the time.  

People will always crave company, understanding, and love. The one who is not able to give love will lose the resource of it that everybody congenitally possesses and hopefully accumulates through life. Love needs to be given to enlarge its dimensions and quantity. Kept inside, it grows moldy, turning green of jealousy, then gray of greed, and finally, the dark color of hate paves its way.

Stay tuned…

Personal Growth

10 Things That Can Ruin Your Social Media Presence

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If you are exposed to attention of millions – they are exposed to your influence. – Olya Aman

Introduction

His ability to write and voice what he thought was as well-kept as his perfect mustache. He was a true modern incarnation of my beloved Poirot and had the same initials. By the butterfly’s wing of his white necktie, P. could charm any woman and make every man jealous of his looks and manner.

I stopped talking and, putting on an observant air, pricked my ears in evident delight. The lecture began with an opening statement on our honored guest’s background: a short summary of his accomplishments and a brief enumeration of his published works.

P. lived for years in depressive intoxication: he was dismissed from work, lost his house, his wife left him, and he ended up living in the streets for three consecutive years after that. With superhuman effort he evoked himself from this slumber: found a job, a room to live, a phone to call old friends and family. P. carried the burden of his misery and cruel memories wisely. He portrayed his journey of recovery in his social media accounts and speeches that he gave throughout the country.

The support P. received gave him courage enough to write his first book: “FROM A BEGGAR TO AN INFLUENCER.” He skillfully depicted the sincerity of his renewed self-belief, -worth, and -respect.

P. pronounced the word of truth, the word of gratification and excuse in his most honored books. He had sadness and shadow in his life and managed to transform it into joy and light and, which is fascinating, to inspire others to do the same.

I turned on the recording function on my phone, entrusting to it to capture not only meaning but also the vibration of P.’s charismatic baritone and the elevating vibe of his emotions.

1) An Invocation to the Sacred Collective Intelligence

“A few years ago, I was a little worse than nobody and only the wealth of feeling and imagination kept me going. I did my best to put as many external-change-miles between myself and that past self that resembled a lizard person: fat, distressed, and overall unhappy street beggar.”

“When the visible transformation that I depicted in my social media accounts afforded a strong confirmatory evidence of my will power I noticed a considerable follower increase that continued to be so till the dark day in July of 2017.”

Social media is like an invocation to the sacred collective intelligence of the audience. The effort you are making to draw attention, to Go Viral, Create Memes (a discovery that is shared so widely that it becomes a part of internet culture) becomes a luminous point in the coming days of your life.

The magic in social media comes with excited, placid, deep, and limpid emotions shared, spread across social media realms. It is a superhuman vision that media evokes. It is heightened by valued people, trendsetters and their ability to network. They spread messages and those are never in repose after that but forever in flight and their course is insatiable.

The success in this internet universe is determined by the ability to penetrate the silence of the eyes, the voices in the heads, and the vibrations in the hearts of humanity in your niche. If you are able to see into the inside of your people: the misery they suffer, the happiness they crave, the thoughts that grow out of their experiences, the infinite emotions that lay hidden in their hearts – then the glory of having created the solution, redeeming the suffering, showing the new world of ideas and distractions will put you in a sort of ecstasy.

The feeling of affectionate attention that social media can give is the opium of modern world that can either stop the tempest of doubt and dread, of jealousy and rage that people feel or increase the intensity of those harmful feelings to the unbearable degree.

2) An Electric Current that Goes Through the Hearts and Minds of People

“The flow of traffic accompanied by the feeling of power and monetary satisfaction was an engine that propelled my activity and at the same time throttled my ability to reflect and empathize. People started to ask my expert opinion and I was delighted at the opportunity to dominate, preach and teach.”

“Those in distress found it motivating and uplifting to follow my story. I managed to create a balance and unity of thoughts and feelings through my speeches on the stage and in my videos. I painstakingly pieced my life in a few hours and elated people by my example.”

“A few followers sent me pleading for help letters. They needed more attention and encouragement. I became too arrogantly busy to spend enough time to do so. By a remarkable coincidence, those few incidents of my negligence skipped calling publicity (no one complained). So, the ruin of my social media career was not due to my silence but on the contrary – thanks to the too-loud-opinions that I’d expressed.”

Social media is an electric current that goes through the hearts and minds of people. The perfect sculpture of this system of sharing contains words, ideas, pictures, videos, and audios.

Face to face, emotion to emotion, wound to wound – this world has a childish soul and a limited mind behind the vastness of information. Without wise guidance life within it is saddened and future is black. Making first steps in social media world, make sure you have a mentor to help you navigate your way. It will save you a lot of time and energy.

Sheltered from harmful influence, protected for a time against the fearful spells of over dense information one can mature and add great knowledge and exclusiveness to his life with the help of social media. Now you can find what you need in seconds without spending hours in the library turning pages after pages. The resources available are numerous and categorized for you by reviews of many people.

It is a fine modern privilege to be able to skillfully direct the route in social media realms. And without knowing how to do it any life in there is short-lived and weak.

3) A Fearful Spell of Judgments

“The social air grew colder as my vanity expressed itself louder. And when the mist of my unfavorable twitts rolled along the world like a dense cloud of smoke, the decline of my reputation was not possible to stop.”

“I was busily engaged in judging and criticizing the ways of life that considerably differed from the one I was living at the moment. I forgot that only a few years prior I was a complete contradictory person to what I represented at the time. With much ceremony and stateliness, I voiced verdicts like: ‘I do not understand how one can live like that’, ‘I cannot respect a person acting in this way’, ‘how one can live in such a body’… and many more of a similar kind.”

“Finally, the tragedy was entered into my life with the full force and distractive power. The strength of public protest crashed the respect that I earned in the eyes of the outer world and my own self-worth suffered immensely. For the second time in my life, I was ruined mentally, morally, and physically. And if the first time circumstances and out-of-my-control factors were to blame, this time I was the only one responsible.”

Successful people, influencers, use admirable art of words and gestures, contagious images and piquant, unique ideas, ingenious salutations – and all of it to invest in their future. The more engaging content they put out to the world of social media the more they get back in terms of attention and affiliate advertising opportunities.

4) A Positive Distraction or a Depressing Factor

“I seated myself opposite the people I was trying to help. My first intention was forgotten in the confusion of attention and praise that I was luxuriously thrusting myself into. Anger and annoyance at what I expressed publicly was a just confirmation of my moral decline.”

“I used to be close to these people when I was one of them: working hard, feeling tired and depressed sometimes but with an effort lifting my head and doing what was right. I was able to break the chain of negative behavior, emotions, and feelings. I prided myself with this accomplishment. People were empowered by my example and generosity of my statements.”

At the same time, there are a lot of damaging oddities that may attract the audience and create a collective desire for negative behavior. That mostly touches kids and teenagers, but some insecure grown-up people are a target as well. To prevent it, parents need to create their own system of censorship. Guidance when making the first steps in learning how to use the world of information is required in school with books and in life with internet.

A life we live every day is diverse and enveloped in good and bad, jolly and sad, interesting and boring. Often the latter prevails, but what we see online is not the reality we usually live offline. The idealized picture may serve as a distraction that betters our life or as a depressing factor. And the feedback our emotions receive depends on the self-esteem we feel. Fear and lack of self-worth create pessimistic interaction between our life and the lives that other people expose to our attention online.

5) Unlimited and Unrestrained Debates

“When I forgot my past self, I took the transformation that I’d managed to make as purely my own doing. I easily threw away the encouragement that I’d received on the way to my new body and mind, forgetting the impact my followers made. They rightly broke off the ties and left not only reproachful comments but, what is more painful, a memory of love turned into hate, respect transformed into contempt, and admiration altered by disgust.”

Debates online are fueled by unlimited attention and participation. People engage in discussions and say a lot to the purpose and absolutely out of it, which makes it unrestrained. Some people act under a firm conviction that their opinion is always right. Criticism is uncontrolled and any tenderness to the feelings is often nonexistent. If you decide to share part of your life online, consider that and be warned and armed to address it in the right way.

6) A Way to Maintain a Stronger Connection

“To build connection is a tenacious and time-consuming work. To maintain it is just as hard. But to ruin everything you do not need to make any effort at all. One publicly shared unfavorable statement of yours can crash years of tough movement to the desired.”

“I felt support and love gushing from the hearts of people that liked what I was doing. I felt the lack of it the more painful for it. Who has lived in the light of attention cannot feel contented in the uncrowded space of lonely life without it.”

“I hastened to repair my life by self-reflecting and writing all my feelings and thoughts down. When I published my second book “BUILD CONNECTION WITH RESPECT IN SOCIAL MEDIA WORLD” I didn’t anticipate the impact that this work would do.”

“One of the main things that defer humankind from any other creature on this Earth is the ability to forgive. My book helped me to be forgiven because I was sincerely sorry for what I’ve said and the way I acted.”

With social media it is easier to be loved and courted by distant relations. But if you say and show too much, you may appear somewhat self-opinionated – people do not like it. If one touches upon the lives of others over any limit, it shows that he or she is a narrow-minded, tattling old gossip – people hate it.

The greatest installment to the debt of sincere affection is truth and genuineness. When you share your happiness, you connect with other people on a level of positive vibes, and by doing this, you multiply the bliss in your life.

The impact you have on your social network should serve to solace spirits and soothe tempers. If your company is pleasing and online conversation is genuine people come back to your platform and bring friends along.

Becoming a soul of authentic order online is very important for keeping a true and strong connection with people. Fresh news or old scandal, trivial questions or oft-repeated observations – when online it is spread across the minds with the speed that beats the light one. Be careful of what you share and remember that when you are radiant with dignity and depth of soul your charm is keenly spiritual and has an ineffable power to attract and subjugate the hearts.

7) An Advertising Dreamland

“Covering my face with my hands I sank into a new life of renewed self-awareness. I was suffused with a crimson flush. It was not from the shame but from the pleasant feeling of regained self-esteem. This mistake taught me my duty and served as an advertisement for my work. The sad remembrance of my failure helped me to be more sincere and open to the people who addressed me online and off-line.”

“This experience of sinking lower and lower cast over my writing those brilliant hints and expressions that touched the hearts of people. MY heart was set on a right track to impress and uplift, to inspire and motivate.”

Slowly, using content marketing or more quickly through influencer marketing one can achieve results with persistent and constant effort. To set up an advertising campaign nowadays you do not need to hire a whole bunch of experts. One smart person can be enough, or you can do it even by yourself.

When people grow fond of your content, you realize with some unaccountable satisfaction that they will buy what you have to offer. It does not free you of responsibility to maintain your reputation valued by always offering quality products. If your blog is loved, make your book shine with more excessive excellence of information. If you look so lovely that people cannot help admiring your charming outfits, make sure the clothing and accessories you recommend worth the price people are ready to pay for them.

8) A Limited Personality Perception

“The third book I published “THINGS YOU DO NOT KNOW” was about friends and kindred, close and distant connections, valuable and reserved network, people of the world and out of it – and how to use the things you do not know to build relationships.”

“The ‘secret’ I shared was a universal axiom, known to everybody and neglected by many – to live by ‘not-judging’ because of ‘not-knowing’. It became a sensation overnight. The quotes from it were flying through the media with the speed of light: “If you do not understand that I am a man like every other man, you take me for what you are afraid in yourself… You do not need to know me if you are not going to judge me… If you intend to rank me in your system of values, take pains to perceive me thoroughly…”

“And let me tell you that to get to ‘perceive thoroughly’ anybody is a rare skill not everybody has. We seldom know ‘good enough’ ourselves to claim to be experts in forming opinions about other people.”

In the internet society we often miss the expression of the face and the attitude of the body – an essential part of the information needed for making a clear picture of any person. Our perception is a tenuous membrane that is too rudely buffeted by the stressors from outside and emotions from inside. Everything happens too quickly, and we learn to run with time and information. Often, we mechanically put labels on things around us: ‘useful’ and ‘unimportant’, ‘true’ and ‘false’, ‘positive’ and ‘negative’. This mode of action helps us to keep our minds sane in the whirling world we live in. But no one can be justly proud of using the same method with people.

Personality is not an easy book to read overnight and write a short review in two hours in the morrow. Every person is a universe in itself, complicated, with undiscovered phenomena on every corner. Family, close relations, distant connections, society, things around, climate outside, and numerous other factors play their role in personality formation. Without a thorough knowledge of all these criteria how one can justly say ‘I know you’ or ‘if I were you I would do this or that’?

How can you solve a mathematical problem with limited information given? The answer won’t be right. And to my mind, it is better to restrain from being in the obvious wrong by judging too rashly. When it comes to people and relationships one needs to pause and contemplate before acting in any way.

When it comes to social media behavior I would say: express yourself as freely as you feel comfortable doing and detain your conclusions about other people as long as you can. The world is small when it comes to emotions. To cause pain is as easy these days as to type one or two sentences in your ‘compose new Tweet’ box.

9) A Dangerous Ground for Conflict

“In my fourth book “WHEN MY GRANDIOUR SLIPPED AWAY” I was eager and ashamed to tell the story of my failure in light of my obtained vastness of understanding myself. I slightly kicked upon the prostrated form of my past-self with responsibility in my mind and empathy in my heart.”

“People trusted me, asked questions and conferred their fears and mistakes on me. And due to my arrogance, I failed to respect their confessions. I was down on my luck, but I continued at all costs to regain respect I lost by taking responsibility for the words and behavior I expressed when self-esteem deserted me.”

If at some point any influencer adopts a manner to look down on other people, they will despise this person in return. Social media has a smell of the sensational air and it may knock some people down by way of spreading negativity. We wish it to be territorial and stay where it was born, but the reality proves it to be much speedier than any positive, harmless piece of news.

A certain instinct, not a virtuous one, makes people talk about bad things times more than about good ones. But no one stops you to have a system and an orbit of your own thinking and acting. Spreading positive, non-judgmental content is a noble life-improving mission. And I wish we had as many people following this creed as possible.

10) A Positive Channel of Valuable Information

“The direction of positive influence was swiftly borne through the damp and gloomy atmosphere of failure. We are composed of little foibles and weaknesses of our kind. And to take control over them is our obligation.”

“My experiences strengthened my ability to reflect. Now there are no troubles that can efface love and respect that I feel, vigor and positivity that I share.”

Make an effort to follow the motto of spreading love in a way that the knees of people who receive it knock in delight. Let your life take a flight and prove to the world that the indestructible leading mind can enjoy the pleasure of creating peace and abundance of beauty.

Try to be incapable of stupidity and hurtful blunders. Self-express in the most comfortable, profitable, and amenable way. The infinite good nature lives in everyone and is always of to-day.

Conclusion

To never loose actuality online is to listen to the feedback of your followers. Negative feedback requires a good deal of wisdom and patience to be responded in the right way. Do not be too involved when addressing it. When you look at the things in a detached way you see the picture more clearly and form an understanding in a much better way.

People who can fail and redeem themselves in the eyes of others, who accused them – these people have a note of rarity. Well-intentionally disguising offense means to be able to wait wisely and act rightly. Steadiness is needed to keep the temper in peace when people refuse to accept your train of thoughts. Sometimes the best way out of it is to offer some budgets of fresh news to divert the attention. Let the things cool down and then ask forgiveness if you happen to offend someone.

Remember – a spirit of candor and frankness never fails. Peoples’ hearts are sensitive plants, they open for a moment to sincere attention but curl up and shrink into themselves at the slightest touch of false feeling or rude injurious intention.

Stay tuned…

Personal Growth

3 Reasons to Compete Against Yourself

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Self-Competition Is a Gambit in a Self-Development Game

Introduction

Rustling, quickly-moving, clear-voiced, V. was extravagant and a little disquieting. Large, square face and little grayish eyes – there was nothing soft or gracious about her. Up to everything and down on herself, V. was a splendid actress but didn’t quite believe in it herself. She formed the habit of sticking pins into her dignity and this venerable instrument of her nature was suffering immensely. I always felt an impulse to pull out the pins, they did inflict so much damage on V’s vulnerable personality, and I believed she could make a better use of her sharpness.

Her conversation was of a sort that gave a large license to originality and wittiness. But she accused herself of not being like some other beautiful and successful actress (who AGAIN got a part in a movie she was auditioned for) – and that competition she was constantly in with others heated me so that it almost scorched.

Some Interior (self) and Exterior (with others) Competition is like a bad and a good joke – one is amusing to everybody you care about and whose opinion matters to you, and the other is funny only to outsiders, people of the world in which you have no place of your own. An infinity of malicious amusement lurks in those who compare themselves to others instead of finding enough will to meet the metrics and values that suit them. Because to win in Exterior Competition is possible but the reward, whatever it is, won’t do one any good.

Imagine fighting in a war for a foreign government – you end up on a winning side, the country is rejoicing, dividing treasures, lands, and you … you go home with empty hands in ill-fitted uniform and no one cares about your heroic deeds in your homeland. And why would they? You didn’t fight for theirs (you got it – YOURS) freedom.

The noble war against your rivals (negative behavior, harmful habits, pessimistic thinking, procrastination, etc.) is never ending and always self-satisfactory. You win one battle and right away plan another strategic military attack on your own chosen enemies, transforming them into your comrades on a way to a better-future-you. Every victory is adding more confidence and vitality, indolent grace and ease, charm and charisma, and with every year you look far more experienced and at the same time far more youthfully alive.

Turn on the Niagara of the Infinite Change. Determine ‘What’ to Confront.

Goodness only knew how far from the truth V.’s self-understanding was. She looked down at the world through sharply evaluating everything eyes. She was somehow always out of spirits and her life was punctuated by little and big disappointments. She lived in a constant state of competition-stupidity with others and the only salvation I could see was to recharge her self-esteem, and to redirect her competitive spirit on herself.

We live and learn, experience pain and pleasure, establish relationships and break up bridges – we change. Having made this pronouncement I want to emphasize that the modification ‘to the better’ or ‘to the worse’ lies entirely with us. Like a ship you can choose to move along a sleek and oily swell that leads nowhere or a bumpy troubled sea that will get you to a wonderful shore with a marvelous view.

The process is most likely arduous and exhilarating but the result is always pyrotechnical – and when one colorful transformation takes place you cannot help waiting, open-eyed and alert, for the next one. Change to the better-future-you is fascinating, and it demands to be continued once started.

1) Procrastination

The winter of 2017 was the toughest in V.’s life. She lost her father (her mom died two years prior) and being the only child, she was now left alone. My voice was hoarse and weary with preaching the weekend I spent with her. I came to console and pull her out of that misery she thrashed herself into, willingly and almost gladly, taking that as an excuse to her apathy and lack of desire to fight her way in life.

The battle with procrastination is simply a development of magic. You stop the baa-baa business of excuses and make an action. Deeds not words are the man’s first and most grandiose invention. With directed activity, you can create a whole new universe of your own. Charge yourself with envy to a Tomorrow-You, endow yourself with passions and faculties of your inner stronger personality that was waiting for the privilege to come up front and pronounce the sentence of power and will. A lizard person should rapidly shoot up into a lion person – that power resides in every one of us.

2) Negligence

I kicked all the clothes off the bed and chairs, made V. get up and look in the mirror. Her ears didn’t play her false – I was not very picky with words when like a policeman arresting the flow of traffic I held my hand to keep her silent and listen to the voice of reason. She popped back in self-care immeasurably during the weeks spent in her deserted family dwelling. And she had clapped the door shut behind self-love and respect long before that happened. Being almost oracular in painting symbolical pictures of TRUE success through TRUE completion I made the atmosphere palpitate, and at the end of my tirade her smile was irradiation and the best reward I could ever ask for.

3) Negative Behavior

V. had a habit of talking to herself in a mocking and resentful key. And I made a goal to change it during the week we spent together in a Turkish all-inclusive hotel by the sea. This trip, that I almost forced her to agree to accompany me to, was a transformation therapy that I prescribed to my friend. My voice sounded and sounded in her ears with the insistence of mechanical noise when I went on and on in continuous expressions of love and beauty, serenity and benevolence, exquisiteness and originality of her personality.

‘How’ to Be Busily Engaged in Self-Competition and Enjoy It

I made my best to instill in V. envy to her better-future-self, substituting the raving and displeasing desire to be somebody else. Only when she took herself and the choices she made in an axiomatic loving and respecting manner was she able to call her life her own. And starting from this turning point any defects, that she had in her own eyes, became goals – a way to flawless crystal image of her future self.

1) Be Guided by Self-Love

It was worth the trouble of looking at and admiring my renewed friend. When V. stopped her bleating, bellowing, and neighing her features started to express intense intelligence which brought her self-respect back to her eyes and self-love back to her heart. Now the atmosphere about her sent a cheerful warmth and a suggestion of comfort and ease. Her loving heart spoke to her and to others. Every intercourse was amiable because positive expectation was in the air.

2) Be Led by a True Idol

V. was wrongly choosing idols from a famous Hollywood crowd, and that was a definite failure and a pointless race that painfully oppressed her heart. This false competition like an ill-made overcoat made her look ill-fitted to life. People liked her description by others better than they liked her because no one could hear her own conversation, those were only words expected, gestures already made by someone else, and expressions approved by the mirror.

When the wind of self-respect and self-love started to blow in her sails V. became a capital person to be around and to listen to. Every human being has his shell, and her shell was her vocabulary and the whole envelope of her sharp mind. Now she was brave to be different, courageous to disagree, bold to self-express, and daring to call her-future-self the best person in the world.

Do not write your life in a variety of strange hands rather than using your own. You do this when you get into external competition. It squeezes you into insignificance when you try to be someone else instead of finding your own way, style, amplua. The only hero you should be obsessed with is ‘you-tomorrow’. There is an inspiration in this strive, you grasp at pleasure and fail to get a complete hold of it as it always gets bigger and a little farther from your reach. It remains possible and impossible at the same time. And this game is never ending which makes life a fascinating experience.

3) Be Directed by Positive Criticism and Hones Praise

V. was able to unite the intrinsic (love to herself) and extrinsic (praise and criticism) advantages and became an extraordinary personality, the one that you can drink like a healthy cocktail and never have enough of the precious taste and benefits. She found the best acting teacher in a stand-up women’s comedy show. People praised her, and she rejoiced, friends criticized sometimes, and she was grateful. She started as an out-of-stage minor character and won her way to a leading actress participating in every show in her best disguise – never rudely present, always profitably clever and wisely funny. Everything she did or said was up to the most intelligent unoffensively critical and humorous way. Ingenious people loved her, and slightly shallow minds didn’t understand and avoided her – and that was just the price for being true – likable and not so much, lovable and not so much, respected and always so.

Conclusion

Woe to those who dream of what others have and fail to see the potential in themselves. Competition with others runs you into a blind alley. It takes the truth and love to present to you an internal competition anew. To be guided by things meaningful for you is like an invocation to a sacred beauty that awaits you on this way. The world is made small if you busy yourself with the faults of other people. When you overcome your fears and strive to be better than you were yesterday – the world enlarges by your presence. Living in this state you are never in repose but forever in flight. You arrest yourself for a moment when you reach one goal and continue an endless way to a better-you. Every move you make is a smile not a sigh. The vision of ‘you-tomorrow’ should be intoxicating and reviving.

Stay tuned…

Personal Growth

I Found 7 Profound Reasons to Be Patient, and It Saved My Family

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Consider hardships as blessings, rejoice at the opportunity to exercise your patience

I found patience at a crisis in my life… the blessing that greeted my nature – Olya Aman

Only three years ago I used to be so mild and gentle, so sweet and good-humored that earth seemed not my element. My cheerful, happy smile was always present for my beloved husband and baby, my firstborn child. Every minute lived in our home seemed delicious.

All vanished gradually like a breeze, leaving a sign of warmth in the frosty air. I decided to work from home on some company projects rather than going to the office every day. I was delighted to spend more time with my growing family, a second child being on his way.

1) Stay strong when marks of quietness and uneventfulness color your life.

Our third son was a piece of happy, unexpected news. I didn’t fully recover mentally from the merry sensation of being with my second baby, only a year at that time. In the beginning, straggling to be everywhere: keeping the kids nice and neat, the house cozy and welcoming, the food tasty and nourishing — I reduced my restful, sleeping hours to about four a day, comforting myself with thoughts about excellence and perfection of my life.

In three months I felt as if I was groping forward a few steps in my daily life and strolling backward with increasing speed. The little one cried almost every night with no obvious reason. I often lost my temper with my four-year-old, expecting him to be always handy and ready to help in any possible way with kids and with things around the house.

The growing family forced my husband to accept an offer of higher pay and longer absence from home, often being away on his business trips for weeks in a row. Left alone with kids I could not find energy enough to keep my old acquaintances and friends. I was busy and very lonely.

Patience — a lifelong spiritual practice. Do not let time rob you of your brightness, but let it add depth to your personality. Get skilled at pulling the ropes and handling the ribbons of your emotional strength, so you can control your life with all its waiting, watching, and knowing time.

2) Fight snappy conduct that is stealing out with noiseless distracting footsteps.

I kept reproaching myself for lack of attention to my husband and kids. I knew that I needed to be careful about how I dealt with those about me. Too often I ended up snappish in my manner.

The atmosphere at home became suffocating. I and my husband took what seemed to us a strict line of duty: him — providing for the wellbeing of our family, and I — devoting myself fully to the kids. And although our generous impulses had the best intentions, the outcome didn’t provide lasting happiness.

Patience — a way to transform frustration. In this blissful state, you grow familiar and confidential with your beloved people. You have a larger and more loving view when determining the right word and action.

3) Withstand frugal life and hardships.

I was aching to the distant time of those happy days when my husband was at home every night, lifting the weight of troubles by his help and loving support. The tears I shed on the occasion of his coming home from another business trip caused the sacred emotional transformation. A feeble stream of our family life needed to be revived anew, and the only solution was to reunite our family, sacrificing some pleasant but unnecessary luxuries on the way.

My husband decided to go back to his old employment with lower pay and higher healthy, meaningful time spent with his family. With each day at home and each family dinner, the healthy and benign atmosphere was coming back to the house, the chores hanged lighter on my hands.

Patience — a re-attuning to intuition. It is a way to be happy when alive and breathing, even though life may seem hard and frustrations pressing. Without patience you feel like the little tottering, stumbling, clutching child that cries bitterly when left without promised candy.

4) Feel radiance from a disappointing fall.

We abandoned our expensive car for a cheaper and a trifle less comfortable one and our pompous yearly vacations for a lovely countryside escape. When a chain of unlucky events at my husband’s work culminated in his losing the position, we didn’t despair. We lived out of our humble savings and occasional company commissions that I still received now and then.

My husband freed up from the necessity to go every day to the office finally could devote his time to his music experiments. He used to compose wonderful pieces when in college. His hobby didn’t excite much approval from his parents, and he abandoned it almost completely during the years of his company work.

Patience — a way to respond to setbacks and failure. It teaches you to turn your thoughts swiftly upon every blessing in your life, so you stop pitying yourself and fight for your place under this sun. You gather waiting, watching, and knowing skills — and reflect the wise acceptance of the inevitable, and respond to disappointment with grace.

5) Attempt to get to a distant glimmer of perfection.

My husband was shutting himself up in his study at night, interrupting his work for rounds with our crying son. The little creature grew quieter with time, sensing my increasing tranquility. I had my full night’s sleep thanks to my husband’s loving help. Our older son got much attached to his father with his bedtime stories and childish fighting games.

Sometimes the artistic progress was dishearteningly slow. Producing music, though, became more familiar with each failing attempt at reaching the desired effect. I believed in his talent and future success. I encouraged his persistent work.

Patience — a high tolerance for delay. You feel perfect timing for implementing your ideas. For people deprived of patience, it is hard to begin any project, the prospects seem vague, tangled, chaotic and the entire process exceedingly disturbing.

6) Delay gratification. It’ll make the achievement sweeter.

The daily treadmill of our home life was sweet and enchanting, notwithstanding the portioned to us hardships. I liked to see my husband, to hear him about the place and at his music work.

One year left us with a feeling that we’ve accomplished a lot of good for our family, which no money could buy. The second year brought the first small yet increasingly delightful music projects. My husband and a few of his college friends got back together and created a small-movie company.

Patience — an ability to delay gratification. Once you find enough of it within yourself you develop a sensuous susceptibility to timing. You recognize the perfect moment for each important step in your life, and if you feel that time is not right — you can wait without frustration.

7) Avoid procrastination and lend yourself to fulfilling your dream.

All three of their movies presented at the festivals didn’t gain recognition. My husband became an instigator and a powerful motivator for his small company lot. They often got together at our family dinner table to discuss future projects and share the inspirational vibe between them.

His music grew strange, turbulent and insistent, soft and plaintive — and the movie they produced with not much money but with great blissful inspiration became a winner.

Patience — a way to greater inward wisdom. Take the wiser part of grasping at every opportunity to use the capacity to tolerate suffering, and with steady tread go to every trial on the way to your dream.

Conclusion

Patience — active, powerful state. Life without patience is an eternity of torture. Patience thrashes reason into you and evokes absolute devotion to the life itself with everything that makes this experience fascinating.

This is a great practice of compassion. With it, you can always find a way to a non-irritable and non-hostile place within yourself.

Never be entreated to leave this peaceful place. All fears, and hopes, and wild emotions subside and do not jostle and chase each other through your mind when you redeem your ability to tolerate and endure.

Stay tuned…

Personal Growth

6 Powerful Tips to Attract Success and Happiness

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“Unique personal style, dear friend, depends on what lies between the core of your heart and the inner essence of your soul,” said G. gleefully.

When it costs a heart and a dime…

G. at her 47 seemed to have something of a girl whose life was a sponge that was thirstily absorbing every drop of friendly sentiment. She gazed about herself with a saddened eye but swelled with smiles at the first bead of love.

Her face had that unmoved serenity of Nefertiti by Thutmose when in reverie, and that was the state I most often found her in. Regular comely features, glistening chestnut eyes, strict rather big mouth, and graceful cheekbones – her face whispered about flexible elegance and luxuriant beauty. Tall, robust, well-built, but rather disproportionally big in comparison to the head, G’s body would have been regarded as fine-looking by one and quite overweight by the other.

She was one of the most conspicuous women in Paris or even in France itself, and that country supplied so many excellent ladies. One would feel almost giddy with cheerful sensations seeing the splendor of color and exquisiteness of accessories. G. was a merry person and her joy would overflow, not in facial expressions, but in fashionable ejaculations.

Her handmade garments were supplied with an invoice for a bond of friendship to the ones she loved. I was flattered to be given the most beautiful garbs by her hand. Wearing those I strolled around with a bit exaggerated swagger because I knew that I was irresistible.

1) The Timing Scent in the Air

G. always rushed to the attack of a difficulty, and when the top 7 fashionable schools said ‘No’ to her inquiry to be the chosen one to master the craft of couture dress, she didn’t repent. After studying the Design Route very closely, she saw that there was but one alternative for her – to start her own business at new luxury couture in knitted women’s wear.

She was deeply versed in learning the fashion world since she remembered herself. Her dream was fearfully big – to become a world known fashion designer, the one that might proudly take place beside Coco Chanel, Yves Saint Laurent, and Jean-Paul Gaultier. That passion of hers condemned her to be the butt of all boorish jokes of her classmates, but she didn’t repent, growing astir, more from the opposition than from good encouragements.

G. hunted for related material in every French magazine, she went through all available case studies from leading fashion companies with the top-notch education. G.’s goal was to sharpen her senses, to overcharge them with delicious fashion flavor, and develop a plan of a step by step image building technique.

To thrive and prosper under this sun one needs a united care of a great idea and a suitable time for its realization. The balmy days for a particular dream make the fulfillment of it speedier. All things and people should be glad to meet this newness that one has to offer and flourish with its gradual achievement.

2) Industry Intelligence

G. had greedy teeth behind her fashion obsession. She saw her success in every direction, her imagination had a free play and she started her research full of delightful excitement. She was a whippersnapper in terms of color, having no idea about the existence of four color seasons that coincide individually with a particular facial hue, and each subdivided into four subtypes. G. found the colors that did justice to her cool complexion, emphasizing her beauty rather than concealing it by pupping up instead.

G. strove to change simple color presumptions that she had into certainties, so she could call up before her mind’s eye the right combination for any person. In a perfect frenzy of passionate interest, she tended every piece of relevant information, filling in her notebook and her memory.

When the predictions about some problem that majority of people is facing and looking for the solution is but too well verified and you have the answer, make sure that nothing is omitted, and little is undone in terms of research in the very industry you want to step into. You should not feel the task too difficult of performance, devote enough time to it so that nothing is forgotten, and not a thing is regretted.

3) Great Listening Impulses

G. got into every conversation that could take a convivial and improving turn. This way she learned about the magic of proportionately enhancing looks by knowing body expression. To craft a better-looking silhouette, she went into every free seminar that ready-to-wear groups generously provided. One of the students of Louis Vuitton luxury fashion house agreed to share her class notes for the benefit of ordering some accentual work for her collection, G. gladly exchanged her time and made a beautiful handmade lace for her friend’s dresses and got treasured information in return.

She didn’t think long and hard to determine her body outline. Five types left not much to be confused about and pretty clearly told their story. She was a piquant apple and was in love with that shape. After all, that was the easiest topic to master in fashion design. Now she had the tools to tweak an outfit to emphasize her personal style and to help others to get the understanding of their body structure.

4) Unique and Expected Over Head and Toes

Since five years old G. found herself over head and ears in a pack of yarn whenever her mom’s watchful eye was distracted. She loved that sensation of different textures on her tiny hands. The heart of a girl, whose life was circling around the lovely scenes of her mother always at work knitting all kinds of garments for local people of her little town, was forever given to this crafty art.

G. could live frugally but happy on the proceeds of her skillful hands. Her dream, though, was big and she sometimes feared the heights she wanted to reach. But her belief was strong and sturdy, and the energy with which it was expressed was impatient of delay and suspense.

Competition is healthy only to a particular extent. If the problem that people are facing is solved in too many similar ways, the chance of success is proportionally diminished. Your solution should to all appearances stand out and be unique, better in many ways than whatever others have to offer. Ease the people’s minds by your discovery, give them the most poignant bliss with the answer you provide.

5) Hunting for Branding and Presentation

The horizon was beginning to crimson when French magazine L’Etudiant featured G.’s first collection. She worked hard to turn her passion into profitable business. It was not easy to find her niche but she managed to make a successful living by doing what she loved. She found her own signature style and the patterns she designed were original and caught attention. G. was able to access key forces to assist her in achieving her dream and every succeeding collection she presented was better than the previous one.

6) Fruitful Partnership

G. collaborated with many talented fashion designers and learned a lot during their mutual eclectic teamwork. She tenderly cherished each encounter and became close friends with many interesting people in the beauty industry: photographers, makeup artists, models, and of course brilliant designers from outstanding schools.

One will well advance in life if cooperates with the right people on his way. The very intelligence, that a few brains united together under one mutual concept, can deliver will for sure shine bright enough to light up the sky. In faith, I believe one great person can substitute an excessive monetary capital. So engaging yourself busily in finding worthy business partners is a path for exultation.

Conclusion

G.’s work considered by many as the great art in haute couture designs. And being on the top of her career she continued to revert her thoughts to her old friends. I’m a proud possessor of a few signature garments that G. gifted me with. And ‘haute couture’ or not… I feel the love of her generous soul and that is the most precious and priceless.

Let your dream grasp you with an iron hand. The path to it should be remembered even in old age. A life of persistent and not fleeting pleasure is dearly paid for by tenacious movement to the desired. And fear often is a companion to the assurance on this way – fear that the dream is too big and assurance that it is for sure reachable. Your cleverness and your soul capital are on the service of it. Make it sensational so people will have a daily renewed appetite for what you have to offer.

Stay tuned…

Personal Growth

In a Field of Battle With Regret, You Must Either Slay or Be Slain

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My boss fell in love with me and laid me off

Regret made me goofy. Sorrow gave me an enigmatic flavor. – Olya Aman

I was out of heart

The existence of conscience makes the claws of regret sharp. And the stronger one, the deeper the other can penetrate a sensitive flesh. The depressing influence of this feeling creates the sensation of a jail in a living body. This emotion casts a grim look on life. The damp atmosphere that regret creates is suffocating. We need to learn how to dispel the smog from the past and at the same time to keep our hearts from being dried-up.

I was out of humor and out of heart. It has been almost two years now, but my grief grew fast and furious with every succeeding year. My best friend, the one I was secretly in love with, died from heart failure. Miraculously, we were at the stop sign when it happened, the horn of a car announced the death. His innocent and pathetic face was radiant with new happiness. I couldn’t help wondering how he could be so glad to leave me alone. Sitting on a front passenger seat, I unconsciously called to mind a portrait I saw in a gallery some years ago. The painter neglected the background, reserving all the magic of his brush for the quiet, happy face of a man. My friend at that moment looked just like him, as if he had caught the golden glory of heaven on his countenance.

Arm-wrestling with the past

The catastrophes of previous days can darken with a shade of remorse the future ones. Some deeds are done impetuously, others are out of our control. To weather those storms of life and not to be worn out is the actual purpose of their existence. There is no way to change what’s done, so no need to stamp life with the print of past adversities.

He felt discomfort in his chest for a few weeks before the terrible culmination on that day. I mentioned to him several times that he needed to see a doctor. I blamed myself for lack of persistence. And the regret I felt had a sensation of almost maternal protection. Its watchful eye never left my side. It didn’t let my mind wander elsewhere. Some days I could feel the throbbing of his heart as if he was pressed in an affectionate embrace close to my chest. Those days were worse than others.

I would do impossibilities to bring him back. I owed my happiness to him. It felt like an explosion now when he was gone. And I could not pick up the fragments with all the care of an antiquary I applied. I became stifle. My mind and soul were on fire, and that blaze seemed to gleam from hell. There was no space left for new emotions.

That dark, evening power that dominated in my life had some magnetic energy that attracted empathetic people. There are some ways of looking at you that seem to penetrate your soul. I looked at people and made them feel as though they had nothing on. That irritated a lot and captivated many. After all, that sorrow I endured gave me that Renaissance’s ‘Juliet’ flavor. And my gloomy voice could talk the language of enigmatic gallantry of that time.

I often was behind handed with my work, but my senior manager closed his eyes on every mismatch in my schedule. The tension was growing. I could not see the outpouring lava of affection that I excited. My handsome boss was on fire, like a human volcano he loved me with the fierce of unchained nature.

But I was a different person after 2 years of mourning. I gazed about me with a saddened eye, paying attention to the dim side of life. That desire to expand every misfortune in daily life and minimize the impact of many little jolly things was roasting me alive. I needed thunder and lightning to wake me up and transform that death-like, sepulchral look into my regular prior-to-the-fatal-day features.

My heart finally spoke to me, and I happened to take to it. The blow of losing a job served as a curing disaster that shook my essence. When enough time was given to self-wandering, I realized that there were still pages in my life book that I had not read.

Let me tell you what I’ve found on those pages

Arm-wrestling with the past is an exhausting and worthless process. A positive view on days-by-gone creates a profusion of loving energy that motivates a person in his life. Occurrence in the past, bad or good, is a wonderful lesson that builds personality. Everyone is unique because every experience is individual. The way one interprets it determines his success or failure in life. There is no way to change the past, but altering your attitude towards it is magical.

Give a new turn to your thoughts

To be more ardent, more eloquent, more entrancing is a process of growth that often goes hand in hand with ill luck and pain. For the sake of my future happy life, I’ve decided to respect my past. That experience was a tombstone that kept the castle of my unique personality firm and steady. In the enormous mileage of the past, everything is a blessing. Tears poured over some broken expectations should teach a lesson of breathing through the pain and moving with a renewed and re-skilled hope.

Revert the importance

Life is cooler when sometimes less weight is given to the important and more value devoted to the trifling little jolly things. So, in other words, performing a blah with sarcastic importance and taking important for a mumbo-jumbo is quite a good key to a lighter step in life. Various pieces of information assemble the personality and it just happens so that misfortunes give a more positive outcome in terms of helpful life tools than merry experiences could have done.

Let the past be your capital

Trudging timidly through life was a punishment that I inflicted on myself when consciously dwelled on the past with disappointment in my mind. I decided to consider my past experience as a capital that can help me to take the right turn in the right moment in the future.

The result proved to be magnificent

I do not have greedy teeth for blessings, but always remember to be grateful for every little merry moment. That is why life is good-natured to me now. Happiness is the poetry spoken in a woman’s voice. I had my second chance to hear the poem of my life.

Now I and my ex-boss listen to those delicious sounds together.

Stay tuned…