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Personal Growth

How Writer Can Live and Create in a Story-Book Style

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I don’t need wine, cos’ I’m intoxicated with words

Bury yourself in an inexplicable sweetness of my words. – Olya Aman

The walls are never a prison, and any roof never stifles me. I manage to preserve the adventurism while being locked and isolated, for my words are real, as solid and true as every imaginable experience. They are the product of chaos, clutter, greed, insatiable hunger — love, tender feeling, sexual satisfaction, loving enthusiasm, and every possible set of emotions and reactions.

Like a hundred amorets, a swarm of words flies about my head. They leap from idea to idea and shot their arrows of completed sentences and passages into my willing heart. My imagination clothes the naked days with tender feelings, and in my happiness, the uneventful life turns into a fascinating adventure.

I worship the blank pages, ready to accept my writing. I trod on printed lines and shrug my shoulders with a delightful feeling of doing something venturesome, something magical, and absolutely unbelievable.

A day without my sweet mental struggle causes me every imaginable woe. I experience that utter weakness of the knees and fear to fall. And my heart beats almost painfully when a glimmer of a beautiful sentence makes my breathing strangely oppressive.

That is love. That is why I write. So if you don’t want to read me, that’s fine. I get my share of dope, pure intoxication, complete happiness in giving my words a chance to live and love.

I am too deliriously happy to care if you don’t like it

When I write I cannot tell if it is pain or pleasure. Every fraction of a second is such pure, beautiful madness. “What can be better than this?”, I say with something between a sob and a laugh.

My wayward nature wishes to be subjected to this strong guidance I feel inside me. My stories are enthralling. Above all, I wish them to be written, released. When it happens, and I click on the ‘publish’ icon, I feel as if I shake hands with this independent being I’ve created, and my heart goes pit-a-pat against my chest.

It doubles my happiness if you can attune to the tragedy or sing in unison with the sad song I’ve written, if you can recite some of my passages or laugh heartily with my protagonists — but if none of this happens, that’s fine. My fictitious characters give me all the possible bliss I need.

I detach myself from the farther life of my stories

My dreamy and even dreary eye is following my heroes in their final stride to adult life, without my motherly watchful attention. The incongruity between the mystery of formation of a story and the masquerade of real, published life creates a curious psychological atmosphere. At first, I feel horribly worried at being caught in the foolishness or lack of logic. But somehow, at the moment of issue, these feelings seem more artificial and frivolous than any mistakes I could have committed in the process.

I reconcile myself to any ridiculous trappings. They were meant to be, settled long before, like developing milestones. Acts, attitudes, external objects and people, bad stories written in the past, weaker characters brought to life in the present — all are the necessities that are wending my way to a future masterpiece.

I am resolved to let some of my breezy writings to live. The truth is painfully simple: if I cannot make head or tail of some of my past work, there might be neither there. If this happens, I allow myself a prolonged moment of hilarious laughter.

I’m not to be bamboozled with negative feedback

There is something positive in the entirely negative criticism, as there is something damaging in a too favorable one. I am on good, or at least on good-humored terms with both, adverse or otherwise.

I receive the first with that serenity, which is a characteristic feature of my personality, and which is close to gayety — an impulse to work harder. I like when it presents a challenge to my penetration. This type of response is the cogwheel of my writing business. I favor it.

The second, more handsome reaction, I receive with a crusty and rather cynical sense of humor. It’s a flicker, a spark of light, a minute shade of delight — I take it with a fit of speculative abstraction as if it is not me they like.

The bare truth is — my story is liked, not me. That particular moment of my life, when it was created, is appreciated. I’ve changed since then. It is not me anymore who wrote it. I feel detached from it in a way and definitely detached from any praise it receives.

I say to my fellow-writers, “Camp out, so to say, away from your finished work.”

Share my fondness for living in a story-book style. Turn the page, start a new chapter, without hesitation, with curiosity and desire to learn something new.

Notice the eternal bliss that is always with you. Don’t let any feedback deprive you of this delicacy of life. It is better to make mistakes often, being happy in the process, than making them often just the same, but with your heart in pieces.

You have words enough in your breast. They beat against one another like birds in a net, struggling to get free. Let them loose with no regrets. Your writer’s voice should sound clearly and forcefully. Your face should shine with the glory of having created, with a sort of ecstasy which redeems every painful event and glorifies every pleasurable moment.

Stay tuned…

Personal Growth

5 Ways to Never Be Bored

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O. looked at things in a funny sort of way, even going home from school with her was an intellectual research of a peculiar kind.

Introduction

She was curious about every little thing which made an ordinary spider seem an amazing creature. Her sense of humor made a simple sentence from a school dull textbook an anecdote that made us laugh till stomachache and we often ended up expelled from the class. She always knew what to say at the right moment. I do not think she ever had that notion of coming out with a trenchant response, but the dispute was a week ago. 

Imagination helps to cope with everyday repetitive activities. It gives flexibility to your dreams, form to your ideas, and direction to your actions. Good humor in the face of boring certainty spares you the anguish of delay. You see success in every direction if you accompany your actions with delightful excitement.

1) Collect a Good Bunch of Friends and an Imposing Burst of Laughter

We shared one desk for three consecutive years in 7th, 8th, and 9th grade. These years were the most refreshing from all my school experience. Being best friends while sitting together, we didn’t even talk much neither before no after those years. I believe some people come to our life like a fresh breeze from the sea and as easily go away. They bring that cooling sensation to the skin and mind, fill in the world around with stars you haven’t seen, juicy grass you haven’t touched, and aroma of wild flowers you didn’t pay attention to before.

Do not fail to find words of comfort and encouragement when your friend needs it. That same person will do justice to you when an unfortunate time comes. The depressing influence of loneliness brings a grim look on everything. Joyous laugh in a good company makes you feel untiring. And a constant repetition that is going on in life will not be able to disquiet you when a warm company is present. 

2) Wrap Your Senses in New Fresh Sensations

Being a shy teenager, I came to be boisterous with her. She used to shake any mishap rather as a terrier shakes himself with ease and grace. The moment I used to start to complain about being bored she would raise her voice so either by hook or by crook I had to hear what she was going to fire on me. “What the-dickens, did you imagine this thing dull? Let me put you wise how things are,” she used to say in Agatha Christie’s perfect traditions way. And in a telegraphic manner she recounted the same events I was perfectly aware of, but word by word her interpretation served to whet my curiosity to hear more and learn her version of the same scene.

Give a new turn to your thoughts and senses. Decorate your days with fresh sensations. Open your eyes to see the scenery around you. You need to tear away the veil of monotony that obscures your view. With a deeply positive turn of mind your cheerfulness will be growing bigger by the moment.

3) Let the Faintest Thing Amuse You

The simplest pleasure was a trip home from school in her company. Every time adjusting the root O. brought a different perspective to the view I used to consider established. I became a fan of a village humble life when I saw back allies and sheds along an earth road, the smell of fresh cow’s milk and newly cut grass, potholes of rainwater with flashes of the afternoon sun in them. I had half a mind she had some magic stick in her sleeve as every time she managed to show me something new in a place I considered completely explored a long time ago. O. helped me to learn how to break some routine behavior and recharge my mind so that it starts to function in a manual mode rather than living on autopilot.

Habit is rust that eats through steel. It can be the most dangerous thing in the universe. Often it denies the possessor from the joy of seeing the beauty of life when you look it in the face.

Little pleasurable moments appear as merely part of the background if you do not pay attention. Let small things find an echo in your soul. This will help you to kill the dullness. Do not receive life gruffly, bear philosophically the rain and wind, and smile to the sun and breeze. 

4) Venture Dreaming and Achieve an Inner Burning Desire

I remember on one occasion when we decided to have a day off school, my mom at that time trusted me with such decisions, as I used reason explaining why the history lesson and coming right after the one on physical education ccould be missed, and the time could be employed with so much more profit at home getting ready for some interesting project or other.

O. came to my place, most likely not letting her parents know that she was going NOT to school, and we had an interesting conversation about our plans for the future. Time suited perfectly as we were in the 9th grade when a lot of students decide to enter a world of professional education and leave school behind. I was still in black on what to do with my life, but I thought my idea of O.’s future was clear enough. So, I laid out a plan for her life adopting her way of telegraphic speech. I said: “Future is flexible. Project it in your mind. Start acting today. Make your dreams come true. You want to share how you see things. So, do it.”

I used to outwear through the books about the power of attraction and considered myself an expert in those things, so my language flourished with affirmations like ‘thought vibrations’, ‘energy’, ‘manifestation’ and the like. She said she wanted to break from the strong hold of her parents rather sooner than later and would rather go to college that year. We’ve looked through the list of opened professions and picked newspaper editor, radio host, and TV host. Although, I’ve lost sight of her when she left school that year, for some reason I was almost sure she succeeded to fulfill our plan for her future. But to learn for a fact what became of her I managed only very recently.

Give free play to your imagination. Turn your life into a romance with the flexible flow of your dreams. Bend a listening ear to the faintest lovely vision. And a sudden fit of joyful spirits will come over you. You should hear yourself repeating, like a man conversing with yourself about his bright future. 

5) Rush to Attack Your Dreams with Plans and Actions

Since the time of my move abroad I stopped following the development of television life. I find myself watching some show or other only when I visit my parents. A year ago, I happened to stumble on a TV program which the first time in many years gave me a vague desire to put a huge cinema set in my apartment when I get back home just to be able to see the landscapes of my native country in that interpretation. The notion that the voice behind the camera was painfully familiar almost tickled me to death, and I tried to rack my brain in vain hopes to remember where I’d heard it before. What my amusement was when I read the name of my school friend in the movie ending credits.

O. was in her yarn being a well-known journalist that traveled the country and showed the ordinary life of simple people in her signature TV show. I knew her medical family wanted her to continue the family tradition, and I’m happy she finally did what she was intended to even against her relatives’ wishes. She might not have confidence at the time in the success of that new plan we drafted, but she was stubborn enough to act without the belief, knowing that faith would pave the way from words to the heart later, over time. Her bold determination opened the door to her dream life. The one in which she can share her inexhaustible resource of vigor that always was contagious to the ones around her. The way she chose to spend her life proved to be the best as now she could reach more people, showing them the way how to look at the familiar scenery in a new refreshed way.

Your customary activity may fatigue you, do not lose yourself in this dreary feeling. Add sunlight to your days by planning things you like. Schedule steps that will get you closer to something you like. 

Restore your energy with an activity that always makes you feel good. It may be a desire to shoot your own movie, a dream of your own book published, or simply a refreshing vacation. Enjoy making plans and start implementing those little by little. 

Conclusion

Even now many years after when the ongoing every day routing becomes unbearable and the feeling that everything should be turned upside-down immediately – for example, I crave to bring down the sky to the earth and see what happens – then simple delight can be found for me in choosing a different route to a known place so that life can be seen through the eyes of new impressions, spooning with mysterious turn in an unusual place, holding hands with a randomly picked way that leads only home. A minor change in things that used to be boring repaints those in fresh colors and it comes to be an interesting task to observe familiar repeated life so recently you’ve been fed up with.  

A dull, dreary life is an impossibility and can exist only in the minds of people. If you want to be a true master of yourself you need to rule over your thoughts first and foremost. The imminent danger of boredom is a possible condition of clinical depression. You need to take every precaution that is possible to add a cheerful touch to your daily life. The wearing elements can be great, but if you let yourself to be every now and then lost in dreamy wonderings, you will feel like an air of ease is winning the mastery. 

Stay tuned…

Personal Growth

Body Positivity Couldn’t Be Explained Better Than This

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Regardless of their size, every woman is an apotheosis of fashionable nobility

It was wholly unlike the ‘Permitted Style’, and she could see the people’s awe and distant wonder… – Olya Aman

Sasha is my best friend. We had, and still have, a tradition in our village school to welcome 1st graders with smiles and handshakes from 5th graders. Sasha was the one to take my hand and lead me to my class. From then on, we were seeing each other regularly in school and outside of it.

Being charming ladies in our 30s, now we have families and both live very far from our native place. Some favorable universal coincidence glued us to the same town, though, so we still keep in touch.

Regardless of Their Size, Every Woman Is an Apotheosis of Fashionable Nobility and Strives to Be in Style

The fashion industry should find a sympathetic response in our lives - treat everyone with dignity and respect. It must not suppress self-expression and creativity.

Sasha has a large, square face, with a massive projecting nose and long-lashed, pale blue eyes. When she is smiling to herself, her face shines pink and childish. She is like one of those extinct birds, the Alagoas foliage-gleaner, once found in northeast Brazil, because she wears that elaborate hairstyle of a curiously improbable shade of orange.

Sasha is undeniably slender, and ponderably light, and… proveably short. Even in school, when people wished to distinguish her from the others, they always called her the ‘miniature one’. Nothing changed these days in this respect.

Sasha used to dress as if she had no sense of proportion, and the colors were always pyrotechnical. That was not her fault. You see, she had a sneaking mania for a fashionable style, particularly when she saw a slender, tall body wearing it. But her reality was the indispensable crisis — she couldn’t find the same garments to fit her petite form. And Sasha felt empty-hearted heading to the kids’ section all over again.

Social Media Is a Majestic Influencer and You Can Manifest the True Body Image Through It

Social media kick starts trends in fashion, particularly when used to illustrate diversity and body-accepting concepts. Nowadays everything is ridiculously exhilarated, beautifully abnormal, and deliciously insane. Gradually our vision is gaining in focus, and we wear confident faces and elegant outfits.

One-day I found Sasha turning everything in her wardrobe topsy-turvy and inside out. The whole place was utterly destroyed, as if by an earthquake, but it was only her frustration burning. With half-shut eyes she was lying on the floor in the middle of that devastation in a perfect unrelaxation.

That day Sasha decided to make a try for Paradise. She decided to be happy, even if it would cost her all honesty and money. Sasha shouldered her way in social media. She crafted her own outfits, which added a rousing fashionable kick to the lives of women with romantically shaped but very tiny forms. She created her own line of “Fashion for Petite” driving change and building her own following.

Clothes Have About Them Something Irretrievably Thought-Provoking for People Around

Our thoughts take on the color of our clothing. One can look simple and charming, and that will strengthen the desire to connect with other people. And being very much aware that you look stunning can bring closer the desire to bestow a little attention to a beloved person.

Sasha regained her good spirits. She is in sympathy with her beautiful self now when she makes her own clothes. She adopted and promoted smart and elegant dressing habit. Her style sends messages to her mind and the minds of others about self-respect and body positivity.

Sasha feels that the conventional visual landscape of the beautiful person needs to be changed. I think she joined a contagious, great, and brilliant movement that broadens the very narrow rules existent for what is considered ‘beautiful’

Conclusion

Being petite myself, I used to be almost swept away by the continually unsuccessful shopping experience. We all desire to parade among our acquaintances in the outfits tailored handsomely and becoming. But we used to be constantly pained by the sight of the fashionable dresses and blouses with shoulders too wide and waists too low.

That wretched mental stupor, the fashion industry used to be in, finally seemed to lighten. Inclusive sizing becomes a good business strategy, even for many haute couture houses. Women of different shapes want to be true to the trend and be part of a modern fashionable movement.

Inclusive sizing is more than just the first subtle outcropping in the fashion industry, it is a re-creating mountain that is going to influence many things in the world. 00, petite, and plus-sizes should not be treated as problems to be solved, but as realities respected and rightfully enlisted in life and business.

Stay tuned…

Personal Growth

In a Field of Battle With Regret, You Must Either Slay or Be Slain

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My boss fell in love with me and laid me off

Regret made me goofy. Sorrow gave me an enigmatic flavor. – Olya Aman

I was out of heart

The existence of conscience makes the claws of regret sharp. And the stronger one, the deeper the other can penetrate a sensitive flesh. The depressing influence of this feeling creates the sensation of a jail in a living body. This emotion casts a grim look on life. The damp atmosphere that regret creates is suffocating. We need to learn how to dispel the smog from the past and at the same time to keep our hearts from being dried-up.

I was out of humor and out of heart. It has been almost two years now, but my grief grew fast and furious with every succeeding year. My best friend, the one I was secretly in love with, died from heart failure. Miraculously, we were at the stop sign when it happened, the horn of a car announced the death. His innocent and pathetic face was radiant with new happiness. I couldn’t help wondering how he could be so glad to leave me alone. Sitting on a front passenger seat, I unconsciously called to mind a portrait I saw in a gallery some years ago. The painter neglected the background, reserving all the magic of his brush for the quiet, happy face of a man. My friend at that moment looked just like him, as if he had caught the golden glory of heaven on his countenance.

Arm-wrestling with the past

The catastrophes of previous days can darken with a shade of remorse the future ones. Some deeds are done impetuously, others are out of our control. To weather those storms of life and not to be worn out is the actual purpose of their existence. There is no way to change what’s done, so no need to stamp life with the print of past adversities.

He felt discomfort in his chest for a few weeks before the terrible culmination on that day. I mentioned to him several times that he needed to see a doctor. I blamed myself for lack of persistence. And the regret I felt had a sensation of almost maternal protection. Its watchful eye never left my side. It didn’t let my mind wander elsewhere. Some days I could feel the throbbing of his heart as if he was pressed in an affectionate embrace close to my chest. Those days were worse than others.

I would do impossibilities to bring him back. I owed my happiness to him. It felt like an explosion now when he was gone. And I could not pick up the fragments with all the care of an antiquary I applied. I became stifle. My mind and soul were on fire, and that blaze seemed to gleam from hell. There was no space left for new emotions.

That dark, evening power that dominated in my life had some magnetic energy that attracted empathetic people. There are some ways of looking at you that seem to penetrate your soul. I looked at people and made them feel as though they had nothing on. That irritated a lot and captivated many. After all, that sorrow I endured gave me that Renaissance’s ‘Juliet’ flavor. And my gloomy voice could talk the language of enigmatic gallantry of that time.

I often was behind handed with my work, but my senior manager closed his eyes on every mismatch in my schedule. The tension was growing. I could not see the outpouring lava of affection that I excited. My handsome boss was on fire, like a human volcano he loved me with the fierce of unchained nature.

But I was a different person after 2 years of mourning. I gazed about me with a saddened eye, paying attention to the dim side of life. That desire to expand every misfortune in daily life and minimize the impact of many little jolly things was roasting me alive. I needed thunder and lightning to wake me up and transform that death-like, sepulchral look into my regular prior-to-the-fatal-day features.

My heart finally spoke to me, and I happened to take to it. The blow of losing a job served as a curing disaster that shook my essence. When enough time was given to self-wandering, I realized that there were still pages in my life book that I had not read.

Let me tell you what I’ve found on those pages

Arm-wrestling with the past is an exhausting and worthless process. A positive view on days-by-gone creates a profusion of loving energy that motivates a person in his life. Occurrence in the past, bad or good, is a wonderful lesson that builds personality. Everyone is unique because every experience is individual. The way one interprets it determines his success or failure in life. There is no way to change the past, but altering your attitude towards it is magical.

Give a new turn to your thoughts

To be more ardent, more eloquent, more entrancing is a process of growth that often goes hand in hand with ill luck and pain. For the sake of my future happy life, I’ve decided to respect my past. That experience was a tombstone that kept the castle of my unique personality firm and steady. In the enormous mileage of the past, everything is a blessing. Tears poured over some broken expectations should teach a lesson of breathing through the pain and moving with a renewed and re-skilled hope.

Revert the importance

Life is cooler when sometimes less weight is given to the important and more value devoted to the trifling little jolly things. So, in other words, performing a blah with sarcastic importance and taking important for a mumbo-jumbo is quite a good key to a lighter step in life. Various pieces of information assemble the personality and it just happens so that misfortunes give a more positive outcome in terms of helpful life tools than merry experiences could have done.

Let the past be your capital

Trudging timidly through life was a punishment that I inflicted on myself when consciously dwelled on the past with disappointment in my mind. I decided to consider my past experience as a capital that can help me to take the right turn in the right moment in the future.

The result proved to be magnificent

I do not have greedy teeth for blessings, but always remember to be grateful for every little merry moment. That is why life is good-natured to me now. Happiness is the poetry spoken in a woman’s voice. I had my second chance to hear the poem of my life.

Now I and my ex-boss listen to those delicious sounds together.

Stay tuned…

 

Ebooks

How to Navigate in a Multitude of the Literary World: 3 Major Principles

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An advice from a genius writer whose masterpieces the world missed to see.

May I Present

my friend A. He is at his late 60s and, my word, in his youth he must have been irresistible. His face is mapped with roads and rivers that only time and extreme life challenges can create. Each line presents a reasonable attempt at exquisiteness.

A.’s speech has a gentlemanly flavor about it – makes you think of frockcoat, stick, and bowler. His sixty and some years had not impaired his intelligent vivacity. Indeed, his conversation could not be otherwise than profitable to me, for he is thoroughly acquainted with the art of coming out winning over the difficulty of getting a volume of value.

You cannot find more devoted to the crafty pen person. A.’s inward exultation at seeing his works read is heartwarming. Although, you must be in a circle of chosen few close and trusted friends to be able to have a glance at his poems. Humble and dubious he never made his words public. I want to gratify his work by just saying that reading those words aloud would have made my lips bleed in painful admiration.

The luxury of this conversation is sublime. So, let us have a real, rattling good time with A. and fix up the book business.

1) Worldwide Known Classics

“There is almost as much charm in a quality literary work as there is in first love. The certainty of success the world-renowned masterpiece achieved diminished all likelihoods to make the wrong choice. When you are sitting down to a book of Leo Tolstoy or Charles Dickens you always have your own say in an artistic conversation. The most superb taste will be satisfied with memoirs of a genius, or the fiction that is written so skillfully that can be taken for a sober fact.”

No need to throw your thoughts in confusion on seeing the vast shelves full of unknown volumes. The classic works are soothing to the mind and consoling to the soul. Their depth and complexity train your perception to see the splendor of the characters that flourish in our society. By reading world respected books you cultivate your mind and develop your intellect.

2) A Darn Good Person

“I need a personal connection with a writer. That is why I employ myself in finding the ones I can respect. If a particular author manages to secure my favor, I will read those books with no delay. The great art of authorship should be accompanied by the true virtues of a person’s heart and soul.”

Research the facts from a novelist’s life to make sure that you can relate to his/her values. Let the life of your favorite writer provoke the best feelings in you. This way you can add to your strong passions a solid appetite for a meaningful life.

3) A Protagonist’s Recommendation

“A book that strengthens my heart and an author that seals my best affections have the right to divert my attention towards some other literary work. This kind of a qualified approval is tended by me with admiration.”

You can bury yourself in the pages of a book suggested by your favorite author. If the person whose opinion you respect offered you some interesting read, go ahead and dive into it. That author lived by his wits and he had proved long ago that he had some wits to live by, so his opinion matters.

Conclusion

The whole mystery of the bookish life is re-shelved by a simple principle of cultivating your reading taste with the help of world known classic books. The best and most talented brothermen share with us their view of life and you can trace that time didn’t change the values that stabilize the world.

Be picky when it comes to the choice of your circle of favorite authors. Make sure you like them personally and when you’ve done so, you can trust their judgment and get a book they consider worth reading.

Stay tuned…

Personal Growth

Never Guessed This Easy Self-Love Formula Could Change My Friend’s Life

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“Unlike her mother, she loved herself just the way she was”

I met Natasha when I was in hospital as a child, on some trifling issue with my collarbone. We got together somehow. The simplicity and cheerfulness of her nature was the best recommendation for me. Natasha was always disposed to chatter, and I loved to listen to her stories. So, when she invited me to snatch a meal at her parents’ house on one of the weekends, I agreed with delight.

A Mother’s heart

I was aware that Natasha felt somewhat uneasy to introduce me to her mom. But Natasha sensed a kind and open heart in me and wanted my smiling face to cheer her family.

I did my best to not show my astonishment at seeing her mother. But I bet it was all written on my over expressive face. I never before or since saw a woman so big. I was just a shy child and on my asking if there was anything I could do to help her with setting up the table or getting the tea ready, she became suddenly annoyed and left the room without saying a word.

I felt her unease and pain as my own. It often goes to my heart to see people unhappy in their bodies. I didn’t think a moment but acted on impulse. Rushing right after her, I hugged her and cried bitterly in her soft bosom. Often I think I am made practically from one heart and it governs my actions, leading me through the jungle of human emotions.

Natasha’s mother was a beautiful woman, shy and gentle, kind and sincere in everything she did. I realized, many years after, that this moment of uneven and impulsive emotional connection we both felt resulted from our likeness. She, just like me, was oversensitive. Her emotions were like musical strains, too tightly rendered. She had a way of noticing even a slight change in people’s attitude towards herself, and she took it too close to her heart.

That was a magic night. I do not remember laughing so much ever since.

Second Encounter

I left the hospital in a week and we lost each other, being a few years apart and busy with our lives. At that age it was a huge obstacle: I was 11 and still played with dolls and Natasha, being about 21, started to go out with boys.

In my last year at university, just before moving overseas, I rented an apartment with my friend. The kids next door were noisy little devils. On one occasion they were fighting in the little corridor we shared and ruined our shoe shelf. Their mom came out of the door just at the time when I was vainly trying to rescue my boots out of the younger boy’s hands. He was trying to kick his brother with one boot and to pull the other on his own poor head as a helmet.

I was so much taken up by the drama in front of me that I didn’t right away realize that a lady next door was dragging me out of the fighting boys’ way and into her apartment. I found myself in the kitchen, sitting at the table with the lucky boot in one hand and a cup of fragrant tea in the other.

I was well rewarded for my pains with love and hospitality bestowed on me by my old friend Natasha.

“Forget about the little rascals, Oly,” Natasha was the only person calling me so. “They will get their share of motherly affection when I’m done with you.” We hugged and kissed, we laughed and chatted till midnight, Natasha’s husband dealing with the kids.

Loving Yourself Comes First

1) Love Yourself Today

We were throwing tea parties almost every night since then. I used to look at Natasha from time to time with an air of conscious admiration. Refreshed, delighted, invigorated, she carried the world before her by the force of love she felt towards herself, her children, and her husband. She rarely came out of the apartment, mostly busying herself in the kitchen making all kinds of delicacies for her boys. She had a big heart in her rather big body.

Her husband adored her, children obeyed her ALMOST every time, and unlike her mother, she loved herself just the way she was.

2) Let Your Family and Friends Help

Natasha needed to go out more often, though. I knew that, she knew that, and her husband secretly asked me to encourage her. He tried to convince her every possible way he could invent, but being a soft and loving person, he could not say ‘but’, or ‘no’ to his sweetheart. Good enough he said ‘yes’ and ‘sure’ to everything I suggested.

First, she could see neither rhyme nor reason in it, saying, “Why would I need to go out? I have everything I need here handy. And besides, my mom was pretty sound and jolly at home too.”

Her mother died at 43. Too many health complications caused by extra weight. So, Natasha needed to change her life to be there for her family.

3) Take Little Steps

I asked her a few times to run some errands for me, excusing myself by the business of my working and studying schedule. Then I offered evening walks instead of evening tea rounds. Half hour strolls gave way to an hour one, temp getting faster, music accompanying conversations.

4) Find a Thing You Like

Natasha loved music. Her tuneless yet sweet humming was pleasing to the ear. I found out there was a dancing studio nearby. The time worked for both of us and I urged her to try. She became friendly with the elderly woman instructor. Gradually that kind and sincere lady took the place of a coach in Natasha’s life. I felt good transferring my duties to her, knowing I was leaving my lovely friend in good hands.

5) Reward Yourself

I got into a habit of sending Natasha a motivational postcard each month with little writings coming from my heart. She sent me photos of her-improving-self in gorgeous dresses she crafted for her dance performances. It was quite an expense for her family, but surely the one they could proudly enjoy, watching that charming woman’s every graceful move.

Conclusion

Natasha turned 44 last year. I feel like it was a turning point in her life. She always had a fear in her kind heart to have a similar fate as her mom had. Natasha stopped thinking this way the day she felt a deserved pride from being herself. Although her health improved significantly with some weight loss, the bigger change was in her attitude toward herself.

To the outside observer, Natasha’s body didn’t change very much. Maybe some curves got more prominent and sensual, that was all.

She WAS and IS bathing in love coming from her husband and kids. But you see, she used to be affectionate toward herself in a kind and humorous way, with a slight touch of loving mockery. Now her attitude changed.

In her eyes, there is a real, rattling satisfaction. She goes about singing and dancing, knowing how to showcase her inner and outer beauty. A growing admiration from the men and women of her dancing studio and applause from the smiling audience proved to her the thing she always knew but seldom voiced proudly. Those magic words were: “I am beautiful!”

Stay tuned…